Thursday, October 23, 2014

DREAM ~ Needing To Bury Ones Dead

I've been experiencing a sequence of dreams, in a three part serialisation, stretching over a few weeks. I'm in my parents old house in Crowle, and I'm in the bedroom I had as a teenager. In the first dream I'm playing music in that bedroom, but I am me now as agrown up, not me as a teenager. Into the room arrives a young boy around 12 years old I guess. I want him to leave my room, but he wont go, so I push him, he hits his head on the corner of a walland falls slumped on the floor. I go over to check he's OK, but he is dead.

The second installment, quite a few days later, felt like it picked up from the end of the last dream. I'm less clear what it was about but it had a lot of hightened anxiety and horror at what had happened. The third and,hopefully, final part happened whilst I was on retreat. This is quite a while after the death, I'm still in the bedroom with the dead body, but the dead body is rotting and there are maggots wriggling all over it. I know I have to dispose of it before the stench aroses attention. The dream centres on anxieties about how to move the body. This imperative dominates the emotional tone of the dream, but the body never gets moved in the dream,because I prevaricate about what's best to do.

These dreams seem like companion pieces to a previous dream sequence I'd had five or six years ago. Those all revolved about someone I'd killed and buried under a hearth. I have to move it before its discovered, and this took place in three different places over three different dreams. In the first, it was under a hearth in an old house that was being modernised to blend in with a new estate. In the second, it was under a hearth in a fireplace showroom on the top floor of a department store, In the third dream, I'm walking along a street near where I know the body is buried under a street grate, one of the person's walking with me knew this, and is trying to expose my crime for all to see.

These dreams do mean something to me on a feeling tone level, something was put to an end in my youth, youthful dreams were perhaps dashed. The evidence of this is somehow lingering with me now .Its rotting psychological corpse is metaphorically perfuming my senses still. I need to leave this to further percolate to feel exactly what needs giving a decent burial. 

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