Tuesday, April 17, 2018

SHERINGHAM DIARY 13 ~ A Cheap Holiday In Other People's Fog.

It's a good job we don't mind a holiday where the weather turns out a bit adverse. We aren't sun seekers and don't throw a complete wobbly when it drizzles. For all bar a couple of days the majority of our week in Whitby and North Yorkshire was shrouded in fog, admittedly in varying degrees of density. Whether we travelled over hill, dale, moorland or skimmed the edge of the coast, our view ahead, behind, on either side was..... limited. So the dramatic landscape glories of the North Yorkshire Moors were never fully unveiled to us, being effectively concealed behind a curtain of atomised sea moisture. There were, however, other unexpected delights. The fog itself often created a unique and mysterious experience.

We'd kept holding out for a nice dry bright day before climbing the steep steps to the moist and muddy headland of Whitby Abbey. Such a day never did arrive, so by Friday we voluntarily gave money to English Heritage without knowing how much of this world heritage site we'd actually be able to see. Approaching from the headland car park, we could barely see a thing, other than the vaguest of vague suggestions of a fleeting shadow. As we drew closer, the ruins, partially submerged in mist, emerged, along with an atmosphere that was the very quintessence of gothic mystique. I have to admit at this point I became quite a lot more excited than perhaps Jnanasalin was. I madly snapped away whilst Abbess Hilda moaned in my ear about the trials and tribulations of running a unisex monastery on top of a cliff. Abbess Hilda was it would seem quite a far sighted venture capitalist on the quiet, as there's a sign on the way into town directing you to the Abbess Hilda Business Centre.

Whitby as a resort is surviving pretty well, probably due to its bi-yearly Goth festival weekends that draws thousands of bizzarely dressed individuals trying to banish their introversion  but who also purchase chips, lager and Whitby Jet. There are empty shops but also new replacements, like a deli and trendy eateries. We drove through quite a few seaside resorts and Scarborough and Bridlington's shopping centres are way bigger than they can sustain, resembling a tramps mouth with several teeth missing. Fortunately these dreary encounters were usually lifted by something culinary or stately. Our visit to Bridlington being improved by a cafe called The Northman and a visit to a magnificent Elizabethan House called Burton Agnes Hall a few miles out of town, that had fabulously intricate plasterwork and wood carving.

On one particularly foggy day we drove over the moors to Malton. Like many market towns you enter into Malton through what looks like an arse end of run down dirty frontages, tatty takeaways, lurid nail salons, the ubiquitous Heron Food Supermarket and countless long abandoned retail projects. On first impressions we thought we'd made a very very bad mistake in coming there. But once we found The Malton Patisserie, ate overpriced cake in frilly paper wrappers, and gazed out the window at the Farrow & Ball sign in the shop opposite, we visibly relaxed, finally we were amongst 'our people.' Malton proudly self-declares itself as Yorkshire's Culinary Capital, and it is the sort of the place where there is an 'artisan' round every corner, and some of them do actually make the things they sell. Its also a great place for truly gorgeous home ware and furnishings, we'd fallen upon a middle class heaven.

Malton is close to Castle Howard a lavishly decorated house designed by Vanbrugh and Hawksmoor, which manages to be very grand whilst actually being quite small. I've always been a bit partial to a bit of extravagantly over the top 17th century interior decorating, so needless to say, I loved it.

They had an exhibition of a sculpture by Mat Collishaw called Centrifugal Soul of a 3D Zoetrope, which was quite mesmerising and beautiful. The video does its best to capture what is really a lived experience

There were culinary highlights too, with a number of revisits. To Whitby's finest cafes Sherlocks and Marie Antionette's with their magnificent range of cakes. We also discovered a new eatery Sanders Yard where they do fabulous platters and a great range of breakfasts. Six years ago when we were last in Whitby, we walked to Sandsend and had a cauliflower soup in a bistro that was literally jaw droppingly good. So a return to the Bridge Cottage Bistro was a must. This time we ate a twice baked souffle with delicately roasted carrots, petite turnips, stem broccoli and asparagus in a light cheeesy sauce. It was a meal beautifully balanced with even the slice of sourdough, butter and sea salt that preceded it playing a part. We enjoyed it so much we went back for brunch on our last morning and had Buck Rarebit ( Welsh Rarebit with an egg on top ) which though simple fare was immensely tasty,satisfying and filling nonetheless. If you're ever near Sandsend ring ahead to book a table.

Hubby on Saltburn Pier

The waitress in Bridge Cottage Bistro obviously judged us correctly when she recommended we visit Saltburn By The Sea. So feeling spontaneous we drove straight up the coast to Saltburn, a resort built by a Victorian Quaker, with a pier, funicular railway, plus a small town which these days has reinvented itself as foodie heaven with some pretty smart home ware stores filling out the rest. We have found a new favourite place to visit, and this was when it was deeply dipped in the midst of mist.

However, all holidays include the long journey home. To ease the 250 mile drive back we made a number of stop overs. One was to see my Dad in Scunthorpe. He seemed OK and in a more talkative mood than usual. He's lost quite a bit of weight, but I think the Care Home ensures he eats better and no longer exists largely on a diet of cake. The other stop was in Lincoln, which these days has developed its old centre around the Castle and Cathedral into a smart mix of medieval picturesque and contemporary, it was quite a delight to spend a few hours wandering around before continuing on our journey back to the cosy familiarity of the rolling landscape of Norfolk

Monday, April 02, 2018

SHERINGHAM DIARY No 12 ~ Year One Over & Out

As this is my twelfth Sheringham Diary blogpost it marks the end of Year One, the first anniversary of our moving to Upper Sheringham  being on April 1st. From now on the seasonal and events cycle of North Norfolk life will be a relatively known quantity, with only minor variations.

Looking back most things progressed well, we set up and settled into our new home with relative ease. After many years of living in Buddhist Communities this homemaking aspect has been, and remains still, a feeling of being liberated from a constraint we'd both grown quite tired of. Plus creating a home is actually a lot of fun. In Year Two there will be much less to actually do, once we finish off our plans for the garden, then refloor the lounge, then that's pretty much it. Finding work was pretty straightforward for both of us. What hasn't been easy is, for me ~ handling the physical demands and consequences of intensive cleaning, and for Jnanasalin ~ the strain of improving the functioning of a mildly dysfunctional charity shop chain. How this work would drain us of energy and initiative for the Cottonwood Cafe project, was something we'd not really foreseen. This is something we are challenged to change over the next year.

One of the residents in a care home I clean for is one of my secret delights in a job not otherwise known for being particularly fun filled. She's in her early sixties, but dresses and behaves like an big overgrown teenager. Talking very very loudly in a completely unfiltered way about anything and anyone. She's extremely observant, and knows, for instance, how often residents have been to the loo that day. So you have to be very careful what you tell her as it would soon be broadcast full blast to everyone. She actually has a sweet nature and seems innately kind, even if some of her thinking is a tad eccentric. At times it can feel like a character from Royston Vasey has stepped off the screen and into real life. Her conversations are, however, a joy to listen in on, such as the following one I couldn't help overhearing, she was 'talking at' the care home's manager about another resident and her 'big pill'. Imagine this in a loud high pitched Norfolk accent.

"She says`she aint gonna take tha big pill,
  But she gottu aint she, tha big pill,
  she gottu take it, aint she ?
  You'll av tu meker take it on Sundi, wont ya?
  she says she don lyke tekin it
  cos it gives her a sexual feeling when she poos."

For any of you who are on Netflix I recommend a six part documentary series Wild Wild Country. Its about the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) cult and their efforts to build a 'Buddhaland' in the outback of Oregon. The Rajneeeshis didn't expect the opposition they'd encounter from the local yokels in the small town of Antelope and eventually the entire Wasco County establishment. No one comes out of this battle of religious allegiances and wits with entirely clean hands.

The outstanding figure, whose dubious tactics the documentary focuses on a lot of the time, is the Bhagwan's PA ~ Ma Anand Sheela, who is not a woman to ever try corner or obstruct. There is nonetheless something about her fierce intelligence and indomitable way of not being cowed by brute male force, meeting any opposition head on, that I actually found deeply impressive and strangely admirable. The authorising of mass food poisoning and attempted assassinations, perhaps not so much. As an abuse of power over its followers, and those that opposed it, this puts Triratna's recent scandals into the category, relatively speaking, of small beer. Though it highlights the conditions for abuse to arise in that we did hold in common. A new religious group, encountering a wave of youthful naive idealism for it, that becomes quite self intoxicating, self deluding, followers being encouraged to live as if they exist outside the ordinary rules of law, thus is a fertile ground for abuse of trust laid out.

In Oregon what started as simply directing that enthusiasm into positive actions, does in the hands of extremely self confident charismatic individuals, slip into gross manipulation and abuse of less confident individuals. People surrendered the direction of their lives, and to some extent their autonomy, up to the Bhagwan or Sheela, and were pressured into take actions they'd not normally consider acceptable. Often these actions being presented as spiritually enabling people to be freed of self-limitations. The documentary is deeply unsettling at times to watch, but was nonetheless compelling.

Well, Easter is with us, as are this seasons first wave of tourists, quite often obese, encumbered with children, zimmer frames,walking sticks, umbrellas, perambulators and dogs. The good weather they've come for has, however, temporarily deserted us and we have returned to cold, rain and wind. Our back garden plans are nonetheless progressing, and the weekend before Easter we transformed the coal bunker alcove on our patio. That has turned out pretty much how we wanted. All we have to do now is wait for the weather to warm up, to see how well things flourish in an area that admittedly gets very little direct sunlight. I've been trying out some decking cleaner on the patio's flaking paintwork that is very effective at gently softening the paint layer. So hopefully this will cut down the amount of sanding needed before I repaint it.  Everything is waiting on the arrival of those warmer dry days, which, as yet, we've not seen much of.

I've had two longer Shiatsu sessions during the last month, and I have to say I'm pretty impressed by the results. Though I've had ordinary massages before, they never had quite the same transformative effect on my psycho-physical being as Shiatsu. There is always a few days of adjustment after a Shaitsu session when energy and pain intensifies then moves around and dissipates itself through that movement. Its been interesting adjusting to things appearing to get much worse before improvements starts to show. I've experienced after a session my body trying to reassert tensions, as if somethings was not quite right with this more relaxed bodily experience. I've had to make more conscious effort to relax areas of tension, and habitual ways I hold my body. Shiatsu has also eased the discomfort from osteo-arthritis in my hands and stiff painful shoulders. Though with the sciatica it has been more limited, which appears to respond better to regular stretching and core strength building exercises

I'm still in the early stages of introducing Macrobiotics into my regular diet. It is a whole different way of cooking. Initially it does seem more time consuming, and certainly requires more advance planning than I'm used to. This is proving a bit of a challenge as deciding what I'll want to eat beyond the most immediate upcoming meal I do find hard to imagine. I've got a few basic recipes learnt, but it will be a while yet before I have a wider range to draw on. I notice when I am eating more wholly macrobiotic I do seem to have stabler energy levels. Once I introduce foods that are more highly processed, or are sugary or fatty, the energy levels begin to distinctly wobble more, and the bowels? well, they do take a turn towards the flatulent!  Which is an excess of Yin I think,with all that watery blowing off !

Next week we set off on a holiday to Whitby, and boy are we ready for it. 

MY MOST LOVED ALBUMS ~ Brian Eno - Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy

As my most purchased album, this is a prime candidate for my most loved album. I bought it on vinyl when it originally came out in 1974, then on cassette, CD and now as a download.  This is the album where Eno's use of Obscure Strategy Cards to direct or wrong foot his creative process starts to be experimented with. I remember being fascinated with trying to discern how the layering of sounds interacted, discovering somewhere in the back a little sqeak of a noise that was perhaps once the starting point for an idea that got abandoned. On vinyl the album ends with the grooves being caught in an endless loop, something you could only really do in that format. This album set the template for me of the sort of music I love to love - adventurous, arty, discordant, odd, exciting music, that's still strangely accessible.

He was interviewed on the radio at the time and he talked about noticing the similarities between reggae and waltz rhythms and what emerged from that was the track Back In Judy's Jungle. https://youtu.be/r3mrcxek67A

There's the proto-punk of  the Third Uncle which proceeds at a absolutely furious pace and descends by the end into outright cacophany with what sounds like a guitar, highly amped being played with a bow or a chair leg, take your pick. It remains for me a track that shows what the musical potential for punk was before it had even happened, something that punk, once it did arrive, never really fully explored.

Put A Straw Under Baby is composed like a surreal lullaby that half way through has the Portsmouth Symphonia bursting in as if trying to wake the baby up.

The True Wheel starts off in a sort of ploddy rock mode that gradually turns the dial up as it becomes more avante garde, with a middle section where a recording of a string section is played backwards ontop of the original recording.

After the eccentric rock /pop of his first album Her Come The Warm Jets, Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy resolutely places itself as an experimental album, with nonesense lyrics and often bizarre musical conjunctions. For me its a wonderfully daft, delightfilled album, simultaneously both serious and playful. It was Eno revelling in the potential of where ideas let free from his absolute total control would lead him.

After this album came Another Green World and his interest being drawn by the electronic landscaping of Cluster / Harmonia. What ultimately flows from that are his Ambient albums. We very rarely hear him sing nowadays, and the inventiveness and dry wit to be enjoyed in the Dadaesque lyrics of Taking Tiger Mountain, is hardly ever seen again. However much of a humourless brainbox he can sometimes appear to be, this is Brian Eno at his most oddball and human.     

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

FEATURE 143 ~ Janelle Monea

Ii's funny how you stumble across someones work on You Tube. You decide to actually click on that vid they're recommending you, and in an instant you're are a fan. There was a lot of media hype about Janelle Monae when her debut album The ArchAndroid was released in 2010. After a fleeting and desultory listen I wasn't taken with what little I heard. Since then Monae appears to have become something of an unstoppable force, making inroads not just as a singer, songwriter and rapper but also as a producer, model and actor (Moonlight, Hidden Figures ). Oh, yes, and she has her own designated record label imprint on Atlantic Records.

The song I casually bumped into was Make Me Feel. She was apparently working on this song with Prince before he died. and its a fantastic synthesis of everything a Prince record ever taught the world. The video with its Eighties styling is as self-conscious a homage to the late great as you could make without dressing it entirely in purple flounce and lace. It sizzles, bumps and grinds, opening with a brilliant funky farty electronic sound broken by a finger popping click.  Its 'powerful, with a little bit of tender' .

This personal breakthrough led me to Tightrope, taken from that 2010 debut album that I'd so flagrantly dismissed. So maybe I need to go back to that and give it a more thorough listen. If this doesn't get your fingers and feet tapping then there is really something wrong with you, go see your GP ~ that's Groove Prince by the way ~ not a Doctor!

So, the question is ~ why is this woman not huge? I believe its probably because she occupies a musical and political frequency that is currently all Beyonce's, perhaps there can really only be one such person. Or maybe its because Monae doesn't just mouth the right on words, she's an activist fpr black and women's issues. Maybe this ruffles a few feathers in boardrooms.

Saturday, March 03, 2018

SHERINGHAM DIARY No 11 ~ Gardening Solutions & Metaphors

After a seemingly long Winter of waiting, which even now has been held up by the Siberian cold snap, we have started sorting out our front and back gardens for the year ahead. The structure of the front garden was settled on in the late Autumn, in the last few weeks we've been buying and planting shrubs,plants and bulbs to fill it. Hoping they'll be kick started once Spring finally perks up sufficient interest. Though neither of us really consider ourselves experienced gardeners, we know the type of effect we want, it remains to be seen how close we come to achieving it.

Our small back patio, as I mentioned in my last blog post, is not currently a thing of beauty. It is at present half patio / half coal bunker, but this is about to undergo a transformation into minor loveliness. The decking surface has bare algae covered areas or cracked flaking paintwork, and this will have a thorough clean, sanding back and a good dry out before being repainted. We've bought the arbour and planters to be painted /assembled in our garage. I can't even think about starting any of this until the weather improves, when temperatures become somewhat gentler on my osteo-arthritic hands. Though at a time when our other major project is still as they say 'in development', its good for both of us to have one creative outlet that is easy to agree on, finalise, progress and push towards fruition.

Despite our best intentions the weekly Cottonwood planning meetings admittedly have faltered. When faced with the full scope of the project's development we can acquire an air of self-defeating fatalism, particularly around finance. Also,we have to acknowledge we're both frequently a bit too knackered, a state where the guiding flame of our aspirations and inspirations can easily fizzle out. Even 'dreaming' effectively requires good conditions, mental energy and imaginative space. Having had a couple of goes at re-energising the project using the same method and not entirely succeeding, we need to try a different approach.

Practically speaking, its important I'm able to make use of the space that my working part-time is meant to provide, in order to help take our ideas forward. That means my finding something other than cleaning work, which regularly does me in physically, is essential. The reality, so far, is that it's the only work I've been able to get.  I'm currently a bit stumped for where's best to move this situation onto.

Anyway I digress. What we're now doing is reading a couple of small business start up books to see if they can help guide us beyond the stalled position we appear to find ourselves in. One of the things both books emphasise is, yes, dream the ideal the bigger picture of what you ultimately want, but think small to begin with, and in incremental doable steps. Perhaps we should adopt more of a gardening metaphor ~ have a vision for what ultimately we want our garden to look like, then we do our first planting, then see what actually grows and bares fruit. Things may bloom in ways we don't quite expect.

After nigh on two years with barely a few days break we've finally booked a weeks holiday away in April. Needless to say we are both in real need of a recharge to our spirits with a relaxing holiday away from 'the usual'. By going to stay in someone else's seaside. We're revisiting Whitby, because we really loved it when we were there five years ago. This time we'll have a car, so we wont be limited to public transport or how far we can walk, and can venture further afield. We also want to fit in a visit to the British Craft Trade Fair in Harrogate whilst we are 'up in t north'. Checking out the what the contemporary craft makers are up too, pick up some good ideas hopefully and perhaps source some future craft suppliers. We're also hoping to stop by and see my Dad either on the way up or back. He's now been diagnosed as having moderate Alzheimer's, which some of his recent aggressive and out of character behaviour, would appear to confirm.

The Japanese theme continues - Part One

After I finished reading Natsume Soeseki's Kusamakura ( see the review in my last post) I've started a book by Alex Kerr, called Lost Japan, which is about exactly that. As an American who grew up and now lives there, he loves traditional Japanese culture. He explains with something of a heartfelt sense of loss, how aspects of Japanese culture are slowly being subsumed by the aesthetic morass that is modern Westernised Japan. This process has been going on almost from the moment Japan opened its borders in 1853. What is harder to understand is how a culture that was once so aesthetically sensitive and sophisticated could allow it to become so undermined, its vibrancy to be diluted and dulled, to not care or attempt to preserve the best of their original culture. Kerr thinks this is an outcome of a certain single mindedness in the Japanese psyche that's become so obsessed with completing a specific project, such as modernisation, that they completely lose awareness of anything broader than that. So the Japanese culture, quality of life and environment continue to suffer and deteriorate.

The Japanese theme continues - Part Two

We were in Holt one Saturday and there was a Mind, Body, Spirit event on at Holt Community Centre. The centre was full of stalls with alternative merchandise, plus the usual psychics, healers, gongs and a smattering of charlatans. As a former Spiritualist most of this stuff was all too familiar and there was a part of me that felt wary for some reason, as if I would get sucked back into it. Because I've always wanted to give it a try, I paid for a taster session of Shiatsu, which has helped with my back, upper arms and joint pain quite considerably. So I've booked myself in for a full session later in March She only lives in Cley next the Sea which is a short bus journey up the coast from Sheringham.

The Japanese theme continues - Part Three

For some reason, after the Shiatsu practitioner talked about diet being an exacerbating factor in the severity of Osteoarthritis, I've had thoughts about looking again at Macrobiotics. I dabbled in it a bit during the 1980's - 1990's.  The essence of it is to make rice, cereals and pulses the central elements to your diet, with vegetables and fruit as secondary sources. Tertiary food sources  would be meat, fish, nuts, dairy, sugary or fatty foods, tea and coffee, and particularly heavily processed foods. These make it harder to keep a balance of the yin and yang food elements Well, this is its working premise. I'm unlikely to go the whole hog with it, because I never have before, though I know my diet could do with an improved emphasis health wise.

And finally, yes, we were snowed in briefly for a day, it got very cold and the wind whistled through our front door, and now its all slowly melting into sludge then water. Our garden plants and we  have survived intact, both of us resuming our anticipation of the arrival of Spring.


Saturday, February 24, 2018

BOOK REVIEW ~ Natsume Soseki ~ Kusamakura

Kusamakura means literally 'Pillow Grass' and in Japanese this has intimations of travel, often with an underlying spiritual purpose. Soseki uses it as a reference to Basho's book -Narrow Road to the Interior, which is a similar journey accompanied by philosophical and poetic discourse. Kusa grass is also traditionally what the Buddha made his meditation seat out of before he became enlightened. So the novel's title has many inferences hinting at what Soeseki's intention is.

The central character is a nameless young artist and poet who escapes the rapidly urbanising Tokyo to embark on a journey through rural Japan. He has set himself the task of viewing whatever he sees with dispassion, to observe the world simply as it is. He believes this requires him to be 'nonemotional', which is not the same as 'unemotional'. Though he tries to be this dispassionate calm observer he is unable to find a subject matter he wants to paint, or be satisfied he can capture the mood of a moment in a haiku.

Then he starts to hear about a woman through local gossip, and then encounters that woman, Nami, a name meaning beauty in Japanese. She appears as a uniquely independent free spirit, whom the artist becomes increasingly intrigued by. There is something about her that he's looking for, something in the way she chooses to live that he also wants. What he seeks is not sex or her love, but the solution to an existential longing.  He frequently encounters her by accident, such as one time where they end up discussing what the best way to read a book is. The artist thinks its following the storyline, to connect with the characters triumphs and dilemmas from the start of the book in sequence through to the end. Nami, however, reads novels by opening them at random in a different place everyday, entering into the scene in the book and responding cleanly to whatever is happening. Being able to make something of it that's not completely bound by an author's narrative diktat.

Soseki wrote Kusamakura in 1906, as the Westernisation of Japan proceeded at a pace and the older style culture of Japan was rapidly disappearing. This rupture in the continuity of Japanese culture and society appears, from my limited reading of Japanese authors, to be like a festering wound in the countries psyche, that even now they are still searching for a way to heal. For Soseki his reaction was the desire to write a truly Japanese form of literature, drawn from its own cultural traditions. With Kusamakura he set out with the aim of producing a 'haiku' style novel. Whilst its arguable that he didn't entirely succeed in this, plus he never wrote in this style again, it is nevertheless a lyrically compelling and beautifully imagined book. The storyline though minimal is never what this novel is about. It frequently, and at length, enters into philosophical ruminations on the role of beauty, the artist, aesthetics, the nature of objective and subjective experience, and how these help one live a purposeful meaningful life. I found it thoroughly engaging, thought provoking and a joy to read.

Few books capture your attention right from their first few paragraphs. Once I read the first page I immediately planned to set aside time for reading it, I didn't want to skimp and risk missing something. Soseki writes with such precision and insight he holds you simply through the eloquence of his ( abeit translated ) sentences. So just as a taster to wet your appetite, here are the first two opening paragraphs.

' As I climb the mountain path, I ponder ~

If you work by reason, you grow rough-edged; if you choose to dip your oar into sentiment's stream, it will sweep you away. Demanding your own way only serves to constrain you. However you look at it, the human world is not an easy place to live.

And when its difficulties intensify, you find yourself longing to leave that world and dwell in some easier one - and then, when you understand at last that difficulties will dog you wherever you may live, this is when poetry and art are born.'

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

FEATURE 142 - Four Moments When I Loved The Fall

Say what you may about the late Mark E Smith he was something of a one off.  Repeated reputation has it that he was a bit of a git, but a genius, which makes being a git synonymous with genius, which simply cannot be always so. Mark E Smith was, however, one of a bunch of single minded poetic northerners along with John Copper Clarke, Morrissey and Ian Curtis, who were sparked into creative life by punk arriving in Manchester in the mid 70's. What marks out Smith as different is that he resolutely continued to maintain his independence and pursue his own muse, even when that led him close to penury. You have to admire someone for sticking unflinchingly to his guns for thirty years of creative output, and sixty band members!

On one day I could find The Fall's jangly amateurism, delightful, with Smith's traditional mode of vocal delivery; half mangling vowels and half one spit away from derision, emitting a rebellious charm. On another day I could find The Fall abrasive and whingeing, with Smith's writing and delivery sounding like an incomprehensible mess, all of which made for uneasy listening. As he got older, the drink and drugs did take their toll. Smith became the sort of person you'd avoid in a pub, sitting glowering in a corner, occasionally shouting out an addled obscenity. So, though you could like and often feel admiration, even a sort of vicarious pride in the fact that Mark E Smith ever existed, rarely was he or The Fall lovable. But even I have had my moments where I succumbed, and here are four of them.

The Fall in their naive earliest incarnation had a ramshackle spirit, declaring 'fuck 'em if they don't like this,we don't care.'  There are musical moments here to treasure that achieve greatness, by sheer accident. I heard Rowche Rumble first, unsurprisingly, on the John Peel Show, and I was so taken with it I went out and bought it. More than likely recorded in one take, it has this zestful burst of enthusiastic but inept instrument playing that sounds thin and tinny, but it catches your attention from the marching drum beat of its opening bars. Then come the jangly guitars only just on the beat. Its all basic and embellished with the puny sound of a child's organ tinkling tunelessly over the top. This is a joyful few minutes of earnestly left field pop, about chemical addiction! Prophetically Smith sings 'now I've tried crazy things, abusing my body to a great end, but I'll never never never do it again.' , except of course the latter never did happen.

THE SECOND MOMENT I LOVED THE FALL ~  Lie Dream Of A Casino Soul ~ 1981
An almost traditional rock drum opening, quickly becomes perverted into a fast paced demented hand jive. Smith's more confident vocalising is now going at full tilt, his lyrics depicting a grim picture of the seedier run down aspects of urban life, and the northern casino soul scene is painted as a fantasy escapade  ~ ' went home to my slum canyon, on my way I looked up, I saw turrets of Victorian wealth, I saw John the ex-fox, sleeping in some outside bogs, there's a silent rumble, in the buildings of the night council'. Going on behind this rather cracking little number, are off key guitars and keyboards fighting like cats for dominance with those relentless drums.

I first heard this at Sadlers Wells, when it was played behind a lewdly extravagant performance by The Micheal Clark Dance Company. There is something about that plodding bass line with its downtrodden air, as a jarring keyboard stabs repeatedly into it like a knife, that I love. Over the top Smith intones 'Crows feet are on my face, and I'm living too late, try to wash the black off my face, and I'm living too late'  He's writing about a universal melancholic feeling of being out of sync with your life and  times. Though Smith is often characterised as dour, he's never been averse to a bit of lyrical dry humour, something he's rarely credited with ' Sometimes life is like a bar, plastic seats, beer below par, food with no taste, music grates, I'm living too late'  For me this is The Fall's finest moment.

We are still in the Brix Smith era of The Fall, where the band is, lets say, more professional and on the case. They also sound distinctly poppy with an accessible danceable edge to it. However, one look at the cryptic lyrics I think you'd be hard put to find one iota of sense in them. they are more like a series of dissociated abstracted images that paint a picture, albeit a very out of focus one ~ ' In the reflected mirror of delirium, Eastender and Victorian lager, the induced call, mysterious, come forth ~ Hit the North!  
Still, its a great rallying cry, with a very addictive sax riff.

After this, though I've probably missed out on some great music, I lost interest as they seemed to be becoming part of the familiar well worn furniture.  I fell out of love, with The Fall, you might say.

Monday, February 12, 2018

FEATURE 141 - Perfume Genius ~ No Shape

No Shape is Perfume Genius's fourth album, and its a defiant confirmation of his talent, giving fuller flesh to his idiosynchratic imagination. Visually there's always been something about him that's of the 1920's, slight of build, fey and winsome, but with a harder queenly eye that says don't mess with me. His voice has little basso profundo, though he utilises and enhances his voice's qualities well. So vocally, though slight, breathy and light in tone, on No Shape he gives it the most exotic, sensuous and dramatic of musical settings to frame it with. There is probably no pop artist working at the moment who ponders on his place in queerdom and the world at large, as this man.

The album's opener Slipaway which starts with an aboriginal tribal electro beat, that then explodes out into this dramaticly wide panorama, is an exhilerating flourish. 'don't look back, I want to break free, if you never see what's coming, there's no reason to hide'  he sings. Capturing the feeling of how falling in love can take you by suprise when it arrives. There has always a mode of transgressiveness surrounding Perfume Genius and his music. He wants to break out of limitations, personal, social and musical conventions of all kinds. We all may feel from time to time, that.our views of ourselves are self-limiting and witholding of our potential. Which is probably why its taken four albums for Perfume Genius to reach this level of achievement, it has been hard won.

There are many musical peaks on No Shape but Die 4 You is a truly beautiful thing. One that is hard to quite put into words. Exploiting PG's hushed vocal qualities, its a sinuous and heartfelt peaon to attraction and longing for a loved one. The video is a wonderful accompanyment to this song, like a surreal dream, full of wishfulfillment and a nebulous physical sense of the love object. Its artfully contrived, but somehow evoking the loneliness in longing, of waiting, the perilous febrile qualities of desire, how muscular intimacy and emotionally tenderness are fed by the precognition of our imaginations

In many ways just picking out a handful of tracks from an album that has such a cohesive feel and theme woven through it, leaves an incorrect impression of it. However, you have to attempt from giving snapshots to paint what the complete picture maybe like. With Wreath, there's a life giving urgency to it that propells it forward. As he sings 'I see the sun go down I see the sun come up, I'm moving just beyond the frame' it could seem like that urgency is to do with making the most of life, because who knows where the end of it is, just beyond the frame of it? 'I want to hover with no shape'. would indicate another reading, of the need to keep dying to yourself, to not stay the same out of habit, but to constantly shift shape, to keep breaking through to another way of being, 'to put a wreath upon the grave'. The video is joyous, an edited selection of  videos from people around the world miming or dancing in their own individual way to this track, it has a universality to it, encapsulating audi-visually what the words life affirming is meant to discribe.

Saturday, February 03, 2018

SHERINGHAM DIARY 10 ~ The Unravelling Thread Of My Daily Doings

2018 has turned up like a pre-pubescent teenager, all idealistic, scruffy and naive. Christmas and New Year feel like friends who've left for a long vacation, whilst the arrival of Spring has yet to be glimpsed. In the middle of the month, after one too many cold grey skies and a working week that for a variety of reasons turned the nightmare stress setting way up high, we both of us hit emotional overload and developed a bad case of the January Blues.

There's a huge amount that's really good about our new life here in Upper Sheringham, don't get me wrong. This month, after all the costs of moving and setting up home here and buying a car,.we've saved enough to return us to the financial position we were in before moving. Neither of us, however, came here with the express purpose of doing the sort of employment we are now doing. Over the last nine months we've tended to find ourselves so busy getting things together that our real aim, the craft cafe project, has been perpetually on hold.  Leading to mental and physical strain, frustration and quite a bit of weariness.

So we've decided that whether we feel like it or not we just have to give attention to our project, or it will stay forever a nice idea. We now convene in a local cafe on Sundays for a weekly meeting to discuss, clarify issues and set aims for the following week. Our views abour Cottonwood have changed so a revamp is required to our website, our photography, and our site on Etsy. Though our main priority is deciding what type of business and premises we're looking for and where that might be. Working out set up budgets for the different options and what the pros and cons are of them. Over a number of weeks I envisage this will bring what we are striving towards back into sharper focus.

Jnanasalin's work for  has picked up momentum. He's in the process of doubling the size of the chain in the next three months, from three to six shops. The first refit was carried out by proffesional shopfitters who did the whole thing in 24 hrs at a special rate for the charity, but that's still at half the cost it would have taken to refit an Evolution shop, which often took a week or more to complete. So what with staff interviews, inductions, and seeing that the other shops stay at the top of their game, plus stuff he's doing to sweep up the last remaining crumbs of Windhorse Trading, he's got a lot on at the moment.

My cleaning at the Mental Health Care Homes, on a day to day basis stays the same, as does the residents breadth of conversation.They remain ghostly pale shadows of their former selves, stuck in a mental glitch that holds their lives in a self-perpetuating loop. Each day I step once more into a House Of Ghosts. Whoa! here comes the disgruntled lady always informing me 'there's a carpet in my room, but I always make sure I lock my door', Whoa! round this corner is the woman who'll say disconcerting things, informing me ' her dildo has broken'.  Though amusing to recount after the event, these encounters can unnerve the psyche as I travel round expunging slarts of excrement from toilet porcelain, or on rare occasions ( thankfully) scraping out shit from a shower drain.

January has then tested my ability to internally maintain stillness and calm in the midst of my daily doings. There's the daily doings and my wanting, or not wanting, to do the daily doings.  I've been reflecting on and endeavouring to practise the implications of a Japanese phrase 'fude ni shitagau' -'follow the brush'. Its about staying with and responding to one's surroundings, encouraging greater mindfulness and a sense of presence - 'following the brush' instead of 'following the mind & emotions'. Bringing yourself back to the purposeful activity of what you're doing and where you're doing it, rather than thinking about other things you'd prefer to be doing and other places you'd rather be.

During these daily doings, following the direction of mind and emotions can drag my sense of well-being all over the place. Most of the time doubts, resentments and negativity are at cross purposes with 'follow the brush'. My practice frequently is one of attempting to extract myself from resistances to just do the cleaning. Life for most people, including myself, involves striving to find what meaning, gratification and purpose you can in the unreliable fallible external world of work. I've always had a strong tendency to day dream, but there is a qualitative difference in expression and outcome between dreaming, striving and following the unravelling thread of my daily doings.

This year appears, so far, to have developed a distinctly Japanese inflection to it. Jnanasalin and I have been talking about plans for our small patio area at the back of the house. Buying a garden arbour seat, diamond trellis and planters for an area thats not at present an aesthetic delight. We inherited a bamboo that we've repotted, which we've accompanied with two pots of grasses. So this area has already the beginnings of a Japanese feel, which we'd like to further embellish with Japanese plants, lanterns and fabric covered cushions etc. Don't worry, it wont become a Nippon theme park.

Japan is also flavouring my reading, first there's been a novel by Haruki Murakami - Norwegian Wood, which reads like a series of intimate revealing conversations on love, lust and suicide. Though it made his name internationally it didn't seem to me to be his best or most original work. But it has led me to consider devoting most of my reading this year to Japanese novels and Japan related subject matter. With this in mind I...........

Revisited Junichiro Tanizaki's In Praise Of Shadows. It's his ode to aspects of Japanese traditional culture that at the time were disappearing, if not drowning, in the oncoming neon glare of modern technology. Its strongly tinged with melancholy for a world already fading.from memory and experience. This short essay is a love poem praising the effect of shadows cast by candlelight, and how darkness changes our perceptions of interiors and objects. He vividly paints pictures of interiors, laquerware, gold objects and brightly embroidered 'No 'costumes, and how what is garish under electric light, takes on a more suggestive subtlety when half consumed in shadows cast by the flicker of candlelight. It beautifully highlights the aesthetic influence of shadows in our everyday existence.

I've just started reading A Monk's Guide to A Clean House & Mind by Shoukei Matsumoto. I encountered it via a Guardian article that was satirising and ridiculing it, but it mentioned cleaning in the title, and he's a Japanese Buddhist Monk, so I was interested anyway. Essentially he's pointing out an obvious thing, that how we inhabit and care for the spaces we live in to some extent affects our mental well being. Being both Japanese and a monk, he's quite big on setting up simple routines. Nonetheless I'm finding it is encouraging me to look at,my daily routine and unhelpful habits that I've slumbered in for too long. I 've realised how dispiriting I find coming down in the morning to a sink full of last nights washing up and a living room with the half desiccated remnants of last nights tuck. Its not a good set up for the day ahead. So I've taken on Matsumoto's suggestion to tidy up before I go to bed. This book wouldn't be to everyone's cup of tea, but it is mine.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

1970's German Experimental Rock ~ Kraftwerk ( Their Early Years )

The boys from Dusseldorf, Ralf Hutter and Florian Schnieder were both in a group called Organisation before they formed Kraftwerk in 1969. But the electronic pioneers that we now know and love were quite a different beast in the early 1970's, and its not just in their haircuts and choice of clothes. Hutter appears now to acknowledges this difference by refusing to allow the re-release of their first three albums, or even include them in Kraftwerk's discography. So if you want to hear their early work it can only be found in bootleg versions and the ubiquitous You Tube videos.

What you find if you venture your ears into these albums is a treasure trove of  exploratory music struggling to find its true form. Kraftwerk in 1970 fit into a style of progressive rock performance common in the twilight of the hippie era. A loose collective of individuals hang out and play long semi-improvised pieces, probably in abandoned buildings taken over for the event. However, there is also something out of the musical ordinary going on here. First, its purely instrumental no vocals, no lyrics, no musical warmth to embrace. They play real instruments:flutes, Hammond Organs and guitars, but these are electronically adjusted and phase sounds and drones weave into the overall sound they make. Kraftwerk appear to never have been too concerned with returning back to nature or averse to technological advances, they've always idealised, embraced and celebrated the modern world as it is, or as it could be re-imagined

Here's a live performance recorded in 1970 of Ruck Zuck the opening track of Kraftwerk's first album. Schnieder plays a  muti-tracked flute which lends it a folky air of 'Jethro Tull' . Every now and then you'll recognise a particular music cadence or rising tone sequence on the flute that you realise gets re-used in later Kraftwerk. The band also features Klaus Dinger on drums who is the originator of  German 'motorik' drum beat.

On first hearing they are hard to define This isn't really trad rock but neither is it avante garde modernism. The final track on Kraftwerk 1 is Vom Himmel Hoch its an altogether darker doom laden affair that bears comparison with the bleak industrial sound of early Cluster.

By the time Kraftwerk 2 (1971) arrived the band personel had been through seismic change. For some reason Ralf Hutter leaves the band. Schnieder and Klaus Dinger remain and are joined by Micheal Rother on guitar. You Tube videos are all that's left to record this short lived triumvirate. Before Kraftwerk 2 was recorded, Dinger and Rother leave Kraftwerk to form Neu! Whether this is what prompts Hutter to return is unknown. but all this joining, leaving and returning perhaps indicates there may have been some sort of conflicts over personality or musical direction. However, Kraftwerk is re-conceived and will never be quite the same again. Hutter, so myth reports, had seen an exhibition of Gilbert & George and something about these two identically besuited gentleman with their working premise of making peoples art accessible to all, lodges in his mind. For the next two albums it will be just the dynamic duo of Hutter and Schneider playing everything.

As a second album it is admittedly a strange one.  It opens with the track KingKlang ( later to be the name of their studio) which starts with an oblique percussive overture of ringing bell noises similar to a Stockhausen piece, which then it settles into a groove that has hints of the future Kraftwerk, but its sparser and often veers closer to minimalism than a piece of pure pop music.

The album comes across as though its a series of exercises in paring down musical structures. Its all getting rather arid and conceptual, even down to re-referencing the Warhol inspired road cone on the cover, this time in green. They use no pure synthesiser sound, every sound continues to be generated from actual instruments electronically treated. No rhythms from conventional drums and still no vocals.  On this album Hutter & Schnieder sound like two men in search of a fresh direction, but not finding it.

But then comes their third album Ralf & Florian (1973) and from the cover you can sense something of the Kraftwerk visual and musical style is beginning to click into place.  Here they are photographed like people from the 1950's. Schnieder in a suit, tie and slicked back hair. Hutter, still with long hair, but parted and pulled back, and wearing a strange half repaired pair of spectacles. In a way it provides a visual metaphor for a band that can almost, but not quite, see its way forward yet. There are still a few more indiosyncrasies to iron out. Like the Kraftwerk road cone that still remains, though  much smaller, on the record cover.

The album is though full of rather delightful informal gems, and with these they begin to catch the attention and influencing of other musicians. David Bowie citied R & F as one of the influences he drew on for his Berlin trilogy. Brian Eno borrows ideas from it, on Discreet Music, made two years later, he uses a very similar taped looped tonal sequenc as Heimatklange the fourth track on the album. They remain just Hutter & Schnieder, they still don't have a drummer and often settle for flicking the rhythm switch of an electric organ on. However, the album does feature on Ananas Symphonie their first use of a proto-type voice vocoder.  It is with the fifth track Tanzmusik that you get the first appearance of a piece of music that can be considered the genuine progenitor of the future classic Kraftwerk sound. Slightly sloppier in its rhythm section, with wobbly ethereal backing vocals, but a real charmer nonetheless.

Its unusual in popular music for a band to find their signature sound so late. A third album is usually where they achieve their most fully realised and polished version of it, which they struggle thereafter to quite match or exceed. Kraftwerk seemed to have to get all their hippie and arty pretensions out of their system before they were able to create that definitive album. Autobahn (1974) is a record that is really worthy of being called groundbreaking and proved to be the starting gun for a whole new chapter in popular music.

So what happened to resolve all those conflicting ideas and bring this accelerated rate of change about? No one really knows except Hutter & Schnieder I guess, and they're not saying much that is enlightening about this period. Hutter does appear to be in control of everything now, the past and future of Kraftwerk, and everyone else are just 'music workers'. If, however, you're looking for external influences I'll point you in the direction of the track Hallogallo from 1971 by Neu! who are Klaus Dinger & Micheal Rother remember, both ex-Kraftwerk collaborators. that's been featured on a previous post.

Even on Autobahn there is still the odd bit of fluffy flute around, but the direction was now set. Here is a music with a distinct individual vision behind it. Gone are most of their self-indulgent exercises in arty farty notions. Kraftwerk's sound becomes more and more stylistically and electronically pure, with its simple, almost Bach like, melodies gliding over a backing track that is crystal clear with not one single note out of place. Plus vocals ' Wir fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der autobahn' with lyrics. But then words were never their strong point.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

1970's German Experimental Rock ~ Faust

Faust emerged from the late sixties Hamburg music scene and consisted of Werner "Zappi" Diermaier, Hans Joachim Irmler, Arnulf Meifert, Jean-Hervé Péron, Rudolf Sosna and Gunther Wüsthoff, This lineup lasted from its founding in 1971 to 1975. After a period of being disbanded, Diermaier & Peron reformed Faust with a fluctuating collective of musicians from 1996 onwards.

If any band existed to scotch the notion of 'krautrock' as a cohesive genre of music it is Faust. Though the idea of non-musicians who nevertheless make music is often found to be the working premise of many bands as stylistically distant from Faust as Kraftwerk. The sound world that Faust inhabited was filled with a relentless search for new sounds by mangling conventional instruments or innovating cruder instruments out of salvaged machinery, pipes and industrial tools.

Though often called a rock band, these early albums rarely fully or consistently conform to any tradition without consistently veering wildly and chaotically away from its cliches or standard form. Theirs is an anarchic rag bag of influences from Syd Barrett, Velvet Underground to Stockhausen as if  processed through a cement mixer.  Hippie without being trippy or dippy, but not beyond being whimsical whilst being hard core deadly ernest experimenters, they defy categorisation, subvert styles and expectations more than any other band of this or any period. They're the very epitome of what an indie underground band was at that time.

Their first two albums  Faust and So Far were released on Polydor and these laid down the template for the Faust musical approach. Here's a distinctly abrasive track from So Far called Mamie Is Blue.

Eager to ride the wave of new bands emerging from Germany a fledgling Virgin Records signed Faust in 1973. They attempted to open up a market for this distinctly non-conformist music, by releasing a budget album The Faust Tapes, renowned for being sold for the price of a single at 48p. The album though essentially a series of experiments and outtakes roughly edited together, probably  captures the spirit of the Faust musical zeitgeist better than their more considerd albums. Having failed with their sales strategy, Virgin dropped them two years later.

This is one of the most famous tracks from The Faust Tapes , J'ai Mai Aux Dents. Just when you think you've understood the groove they inexplicably take a jazz break before returning to it. The vocals and style are reminiscent of the Velvet Underground's Sister Ray though with substantially more avant-garde slabs of noise and meaningless lyrics, there being no room for laconic streetwise sasseyness in Faust world

Nevertheless they did produce Faust IV in 1973 whilst signed to Virgin. Now recognised as a classic 'must hear' album of the period it showcases an admittedly more refined version of their trademark mash up of styles. On the album's opening track Faust fully embrace the cliche of the by then recognisable new German sound as espoused by the likes of Neu!,taking it and leaving it somewhere it doesn't normally go, a track they've called rather toungue in cheek - Krautrock.

Here's another track from Faust IV, called Just A Second ( Starts Like That ), which starts off with what seems a very conventional riff based piece,which half way through slips into a rolling stream of tweeting cacophony. Apologies for the arty video but it was the only one I could find with this track on.

Faust IV proved divisive, whilst it attracted new fans, older ones thought they'd lost their edge and sold out by producing,what was for Faust, a relatively accessible album. The original band that was Faust parted ways in 1975, Whilst the reformed band carries on in the spirit of what the first Faust band stood for, their early work still stands head and shoulders above their subsequent albums.

Sunday, January 07, 2018

1970's German Experimental Rock ~ Cluster & Harmonia

For any nascent music movement finding a place where you are left free to perform. experiment and refine your ideas is central.  For experimental rock in Germany this was the Zodiak Free Arts Lab in West Berlin. The Lab was a late sixties hippie happening performance venue through whose doors passed Ash Ra Tempel, Klaus Schultze and Tangerine Dream.  Hans-Joachim Roedelius and Konrad Schnitzler were two of the founding members of the Lab. There they met Dieter Mobius and formed a band called Kluster, producing three albums, independently released in limited 300 pressings. When Schnitzler left, Roedelius and Mobius carried on but changed one letter of the name to Cluster.

Their present day reputation is based upon Cluster and Harmonia's work in the 1970's period. The music they made was spontaneous and of the moment, they improvised as they went along, following any idea to see how far they could take it, with little self-censoring. A legacy of their Arts Lab days is that Cluster's work feels to have a natural and organic evolution to it, whilst it is largely electronic or electronically modulated sound. Over the seventies their music slowly shifts from longer avant garde industrial noise improvisations to shorter melodic vignettes, similar to painting an abstract portrait or landscape in miniature.

On Cluster 71, there first album each track has no name, each piece is denoted only by the length of time it runs for. The tracks have no melody, no rhythmic beat and the soundscapes they evoke prompt feelings, that are often rather bleak and darkly modulated. They explore the aural shadows with intimidating walls of screeching noises, that shift and fade in and out. It can be a distinctly unnerving listening experience that grabs your ears and refuses to let you go. Though harsh and austere you can detect from the long sustains and tangled interweaving of sound where their gentler sound would eventually evolve. This track, 7.42, starts very quietly and builds to create the effect of entering an aural nightmare.

Cluster 2 followed in 1975, this time all the tracks have a name. The music pieces are generally shorter in length, and sonically the sound is more inviting, slightly less angular and bleak, they include moments of rhythm ,small harmonic loops and flourishes.  Its a truth of any musical form that starts off being so resolutely extreme, that this leaves you with nowhere else to progress to but back in the direction of rhythm, melody and harmonic conventions. This track, Live in der fabrik, is a recording of 14.42 minute live improvised performance at The Fabrik in Hamburg.

In 1973 they started a side project, joining forces with Micheal Rother from Neu! to form Harmonia. This new conjunction of personalities and talents shifted the Cluster sound further away from industrial technik noise. Their first and second album Musik von Harmonia (1974) and Deluxe (1975) found them firmly established in a more recognisable world, each short piece having its own sense of place and dynamism. This piece Sonnenschein rattles along like some off kilter medieval barrel organ.

These albums were hugely influential. Brian Eno's enthusiasm and collaboration brought them to the attention of a much wider music buying public. The albums he made with Cluster ie Cluster & Eno (1977) and After The Heat (1978) plus a previously unreleased album of work with Harmonia called Tracks & Traces recorded in 1976 but released in 1997, all show what a huge influence Cluster had upon Eno's own musical ideas and future direction. Cluster's work never became ambient, they were never purists and more anarchic free spirits, but nonetheless you can hear in them the sources for it. The music is becoming more minimal and tightly structured, this track from Tracks & Traces called Vamos Companeros has a fabulous rhythm like a steam train powering up a mountain side.

I'm sure there are plenty of other gems yet to be unearthed from Cluster's or Roedelius and Mobius's individual back catalogue.  Enjoy your research.

Monday, January 01, 2018

SHERINGHAM DIARY 9 ~ Pickles, Cakes & Stable Work.

Over the last few months, Jnanasalin has become an enthusiast for making Jams, Preserves & Pickles. This has its origins in a Cucumber & Dill Pickle he successfully made in the early Autumn. since then its progressed rapidly through making Mint Sauce, Marmalade, Red Cabbage Pickle, Chilly Jam, Raspberry & Plum Jam, Mincemeat and Cranberry Preserve. These now have a designated shelf plus our Xmas Pudding and Cake all to themselves in the Pantry.  I'll keep you updated on new additions as and when they arrive.

Having survived his heart attack and breaking his leg near his hip, my Father, aged 91, has also survived the perilous operation to pin his leg. At present he's in a care home at least until the New Year, my Sister and I hope this will become a permanent arrangement. There's no one to keep a close enough eye on him when he's in his own home. Anyway this is still uncertain. What my Father will say should social services ask him whether he'd prefer his own home or a care home, is lets say, unpredictable. If he does stay in care then there will be the sorting through of his possessions to do, etc etc.

The Hebden Valley

Jnanasalin and I have done a lot of long car journeys over a weekend during the last month. Driving up to see my Father in hospital, in case he didn't survive the operation. It was worth it for the conversation I had with him. My Father laid flat in bed, me holding his hand, as he told me about how beautiful it was standing at the top and looking out over the Hebden Valley and how in the distance it was all bright sunlight, I found this quite moving. A couple of weeks later we did the exact same journey again to see my Father in his new care home, when he was far less talkative.  The weekend after we travelled to Nottingham to see Jnanasalin's family. After three weekends spent travelling and visiting, we were needless to say a bit 'car lagged' and looking forward to a relatively quiet and relaxing Christmas at home

JS & his Mum + polar bear (no relation)

My new work, has quickly transcended its novelty and attained the status of a predictable routine. It can feel like being in a cyclical dream where you go over the same ground again and again, but never finish or escape. When I'm handling this well, the work is smooth and easily executed, when I don't, the back pain tends to get worse and makes it tedious and hard going. Though these are typical emotional fluctuations inherent to me and any repetitive task. Nonetheless it is stable steady cleaning work, it doesn't completely drain me, and can leave a modicum of energy for more creative pursuits, such as Cottonwood Workshop. Though adjusting my mode of orientation from 'cleaning head' to 'creative head' does appear to frequently misfire.

The care homes I clean for are half way houses for people with a mental, behavioural or social handicap that requires a degree of supervision or medication. From my daily cleaning routine I know some residents have, to put it politely, 'poor toilet etiquette'. I can only take a guess at what debilitating mental realm they live in. They can be abrupt, rude, paranoid, neurotic or just generally unpredictable, but then that could describe one or two apparently 'sane' acquaintances of mine. The hardworking staff do tend to look a bit weighed down by the nature of the environment they work within.

One resident is permanently fed up, always complains about not having any money, that the food is crap, and the staff care more about her not smoking in her room then they do about her. She wanders in a lonely patter around the home with an unlit roll up in hand, constantly in search of a cuppa tea,. Her mood fluctuates, one day she'll be quite friendly and chatty in a toothless sort of way, on another she'll be abusively calling me a prat, a cunt and that I ought to be sacked. Though she did apologise to me once, confessing that it was her who was 'telling you to fuck off from behind my door' as I was in the process of cleaning it.

There's an elderly lady who, in the complaining tone of a small child, is always whining 'But I don't like cabbage'. Initially the first thing she'd asked me was 'Who are you?' , I'd tell her my name, and after this she'd say 'I don't like beards', 'Why do you have a beard?' Nowadays, the first thing she says when she sees me is 'I don't like beards' so I'm taking this is a form of recognition a bit like saying 'Hello, its you again'. Someone mentioned Christmas was coming, to which she said ''I don't like my brother, he doesn't bring any presents' I found out that in her past life she'd once been to university to study French, so where that intelligent and intelligible woman has disappeared too is anyones guess.

Another woman can be quiet and withdrawn, but then has periods where she sings, chants or rants loudly and raucously from her room, often day and night. The other day, unusually, she was publicly ranting incoherently in Reception, whilst I'm keeping my head down mopping the floor around her. It was all rather bizarre and a tad unnerving. So I've gone from unstable work with relatively stable people at The Two Lifeboats, to stable work with relatively unstable people here. Life? its amazing what you end up doing.

Our Xmas Cake made by JS

Its was our first Christmas in Sheringham and our first Christmas after living in a Buddhist community for eight years. So this year we've been completely free to celebrate however we wanted and when we wanted.  We've decorated the house and it looked really beautiful with a much larger tree than we've had before, a mantelpiece garland, lights, door wreath etc. Our Christmas meal was well planned and executed, as you might expect. For the first time we took a walk along Sheringham's wind swept beach promemade on Christmas Day. We also entertained for the first time when we had our friends Sam & Pete over for a meal on Boxing Day. Its all been quite lovely and civilised.

Now 2018 is here, we are just a tax return and three months away from having lived in Sheringham a year.  The past year was filled with many firsts, finding somewhere to live, moving, settling in, finding work, JS learning to drive, plus general adjusting to how things work on the North Norfolk Coast. Who knows what the New Year will bring? Wishing you all the very best for 2018.