DREAM ~ Needing To Bury Ones Dead

I've been experiencing a sequence of dreams, in a three part serialisation, stretching over a few weeks. I'm in my parents old house in Crowle, and I'm in the bedroom I had as a teenager. In the first dream I'm playing music in that bedroom, but I am me now as agrown up, not me as a teenager. Into the room arrives a young boy around 12 years old I guess. I want him to leave my room, but he wont go, so I push him, he hits his head on the corner of a walland falls slumped on the floor. I go over to check he's OK, but he is dead.

The second installment, quite a few days later, felt like it picked up from the end of the last dream. I'm less clear what it was about but it had a lot of hightened anxiety and horror at what had happened. The third and,hopefully, final part happened whilst I was on retreat. This is quite a while after the death, I'm still in the bedroom with the dead body, but the dead body is rotting and there are maggots wriggling all over it. I know I have to dispose of it before the stench aroses attention. The dream centres on anxieties about how to move the body. This imperative dominates the emotional tone of the dream, but the body never gets moved in the dream,because I prevaricate about what's best to do.

These dreams seem like companion pieces to a previous dream sequence I'd had five or six years ago. Those all revolved about someone I'd killed and buried under a hearth. I have to move it before its discovered, and this took place in three different places over three different dreams. In the first, it was under a hearth in an old house that was being modernised to blend in with a new estate. In the second, it was under a hearth in a fireplace showroom on the top floor of a department store, In the third dream, I'm walking along a street near where I know the body is buried under a street grate, one of the person's walking with me knew this, and is trying to expose my crime for all to see.

These dreams do mean something to me on a feeling tone level, something was put to an end in my youth, youthful dreams were perhaps dashed. The evidence of this is somehow lingering with me now .Its rotting psychological corpse is metaphorically perfuming my senses still. I need to leave this to further percolate to feel exactly what needs giving a decent burial. 

DREAM - The Speaking Baby

I'm having a baby. Well, its not me giving birth, but who the Mother is was never clear in the dream, if indeed there ever was one. A baby boy was born by ceasarian. Even at birth the baby is so advanced it talks to me fluently,and knows I'm its Father etc. Within a day its able to walk, and already grown to the size of a two year old. This rapid development continues, and my anxiety grows about how I'll explain this to others. Its unclear, but I appear to have been involved in some sort of genetic experiment. As the days go by, the abnormality of the situation begins to produce increasing amounts of paranoia. What will the neighbours say?

DREAM - A Ceiling Collapses

I was in a large and rambling old house, it is my house. In places it reminds me of our old family home in Crowle, with North Norfolk Flint knapping mixed in.

I'm walking around it with a female friend and we enter a room where the ceiling is sagging badly. She points it out, I say I must get around to doing something about that. She begins prodding it with her finger, and the bulge in the ceiling moves about. It seems to be collecting a large amount of water there. Despite my protestations not too, she prods right through and the water comes pouring down.

I go upstairs to the room above with a male friend, to view the damage. The whole floor/ceiling is on the verge of collapse. despite my protestations not too, my friend recklessly jumps on the floor and falls straight through into the room below. I start walking around the edges of the fallen floor. Everything is now structurally unsound, the water has obviously been doing more damage than I thought. From the outside of the house there is a long crack down one side, and rumbling noises. Even the opposite end of the house, unrelated structurally, has a sense of the whole house being about to collapse.

DREAM - Losing One's Daughter

I'm in Cambridge still, wandering around with my young daughter. I guess she's about six or seven. I'm very protective of her, showing her a lot of love and affection. At a point in the dream, I'm distracted by something, and she wanders off. Afraid she's in danger, I search quite frenetically to find her. I do eventually find her, and everything is restored to how it was. My daughters name is Atula.

DREAM EIGHT - These Shoes Are Made For.....

I have been at some event, it might even have been a Puja, or something like that. Anyway, there has to be some reason why I've taken my shoes off. I can't remember what that was now. When it comes to putting them back on, before I leave, I don't realise I have odd shoes on each foot. The one on my left foot is black, and is mine, the other is brown, and is someone elses. The odd shoe might even be on the wrong foot. I don't notice this until later when I get home and its pointed out. I'm about to go to a family ocassion, perhaps a wedding. I can't go like this. So I need to find a black pair of shoes sharpish. Most of the dream is spent searching high and low for a shoe shop that sells a simple pair of traditional black brogues. I can't find one, and I'm getting more and more frustrated and desperate as the dream goes on.

I think this dream is significant on two counts; that I'm walking around not only wearing odd coloured shoes, but a shoe on the wrong foot that belongs to someone else; also, that I'm searching, and not finding, a new pair of shoes that not only will fit me, but more importantly match.

DREAM SEVEN - A psychic storm

I'm lieing in bed, half awake/half asleep. Someone says 'there's a storm brewing.' I look out the window and pitch black clouds are coming in from both the east and the west. The clouds moving in from the east side of the window start to fold and twist themselves into the recognisable swirl of a tornado. The tip of it flexes as it rapidly moves towards and through the house I'm living in, and passes directly through the centre of me, and exits out the other side of the room. The tornado doesn't appear to destroy anything. It affects my psyche more than my body. The feeling is of having been invaded and warped by external circumstances, which leaves me both physically and spiritually exhausted.

DREAM SIX - Something has changed and no one thought to tell me

I was visiting Halifax where I was born. With me are three friends, one of whom is Andy who works in my team. Of the other two ,one is someone I don't recognise, the other is an Indian woman. As I wander around the town, nothing seems familiar at all. I'm looking for the Parish Church where I was once a chorister, but I can't find it. In the search, Andy, and the mysterious friend get parted from the Indian woman and myself. We continue looking, I'm getting increasingly agitated and worried. At times we reach the edge of the town and look out over rivers and marshland to distant blue/purple mountains. This is not the Pennine landscape that I know and love at all. Niether are the town's buildings, which have grown very modern, retail malls and stores,all rather gargantuan in scale. Older buildings are crammed and overshadowed by these new commercial intruders. The old buildings are not recognisable either. I find the Railway Station, knowing that it is close to the Parish Church, but even that is not the same building.


The Indian woman enquires at one house, a very flashy place obviously owned by someone with lots of money. We enter in and look out from the balcony over the town. Even from this height it is nothing like the Halifax I know, I still cannot get a glimpse of the church at all. Whilst we are gazing out, a gang bursts in and starts wildly shooting around the house. The Indian lady and I hide. At this point I awoke. The dream left me with a strong feeling of distress and frustration, which persisted most of the following morning. Somehow the situation of being somewhere that should be very famliar, yet it isn't, and feeling a stranger, and uncomfortable in my own home town, seems to represent the tone of my inner emotional world at this present moment.

DREAM FIVE - Things get out of control

I'm in a sort of minder relationship with a childlike, if not mentally retarded man. Most of the time I'm trying to prevent him escaping. When he does break out, I'm chasing after him, hoping to prevent him perpetrating some mad atrocity of some kind. On one occasion he gets out yet again, with an open tin of white paint and a brush in his hand, and is found dramatically slapping the paint over everything in sight. Paint blobs are splashing and flying everywhere. The dream ends when white specks of emulsion paint land on me, and spoil my new black shirt.

DREAM FOUR - Bird Brain

It took place out in the desert scrub, surrounded by rocky outcrops, scree and scorched grass. I'm observing this strange otherworldly beast, a black bird/man with a huge bill made entirely of shiny silver. It's furiously ferreting earth away, digging deeply beneath the desert surface. It appears to be looking for dead bodies, when it finds them it cracks open their cranium and eats their brains. It reminded me of a figure from the Egyptian book of the dead, which is half hyena and half crocodile, and refered to as 'the eater of souls'.

DREAM THREE - Entering & Breaking

I'm living in a terraced house. It seems to be quite high for a terrace, about four of five floors. Very similar to the community houses I've lived in in Cambridge, or like a New York tenement. I'm not sure whether I am living in the whole house or just a second floor flat, but I see myself in my dream only on the second floor. I appear to be going about my usual day to day business within the house. This is frequently interrupted by a series of people appearing at the second floor window. At first its just the ladder and the hands, then the faces, in spite of my closing the window to prevent entry, two people get in. I find them in one of the rooms. I enter the room with a heavy object that I'm about to throw at them. One of them has his foot placed over my glasses which are lying on a white rug, he's threatening to break them. At this point I panic crying, and say aloud, even though I'm asleep 'No! No!No! don't break my glasses! don't break my glasses!don't break my glasses! At this point David wakes me up.

DREAM TWO - And I'm buying a stairway to heaven.

I arrive at this New Age Therapy Centre trying to source a piece of music I've heard. The woman at the Centre tells me its by Alfred Dellar, the counter-tenor, and that it's available in a full or an edited version. I decide I want the full version which she tells me I 'll find upstairs. As I climb the stairs I find they are extremely rickety and seem hardly to be supported structurally at all, but just float there. I manage to get upstairs to the mezzanine floor and find the CD I'm looking for. At this point I get drawn unwillingly into a perverse therapy process which seems to involve some form of physical violation. When this comes to an end I try to escape before I have to go through it all again, which is where the dream ended.

DREAM ONE - The Parable of Rotting Fruit.

This dream was a re-occuring one, I've been here at least twice before. I own this stock room, and two woman keep bringing me boxes of fruit to store in it, for which they pay me money. From time to time I check through the contents to see their state, taking out the bruised, rotten and moldy ones. In the dream at Padmaloka I open one of the boxes and inside are a number of large pears, all of which have been, or are in the process of being, eaten away from the inside by ants.