Monday, November 29, 2021

FINALLY by W S Merwin

Finally

My dread, my ignorance, my
Self, it is time. Your imminence
Prowls the palms of my hands like sweat.
Do not now. if I rise to welcome you,
Make off like roads into the deep night.
The dogs are dead at last, the locks toothless,
The habits out of reach.
I will not be false to you tonight.

Come, no longer unthinkable. Lets us share
Understanding like a family name. Bring
Integrity as a gift. something
Which I had lost, which you found on the way.
I will lay it beside us, the old knife,
While we reach our conclusions.

Come, As a man who hears a sound at the gate
Opens the window and puts out the light
The better to see out into the dark,
look, I put it out.


by W S Merwin
taken from Migrations, New and Selected Poems, Pub. Copper Canyon Press.

Friday, November 26, 2021

CARROT CAKE REVIEW No 29 - Fusspot & Foofy This Isn't















North Sea Coffee, Cromer Promenade, Cromer.

You are not going to believe this, you are just not. A third carrot cake since lockdown finished and a third thumbs up. Have I turned into a push over during the last year? Now, I know some of you take a perverse delight in the more vitrolic reviews. The more fulminating a condemnation the better. To be honest I miss that too, it can be such a relief, like releasing a long held fart. Its cathartic. But the ultimate aim of these reviews is to praise the perfect carrot cake. So when I do find one it produces a teenage giggle of delight, that penetrates and rattles through the world weary cynicism of my sixty four year old form.

So what do I say as I begin my review? Don't lose your perspective. Don't get carried away. Don't be deceived by fusspot and foofy presentation. ( that may just be another Golden Rule right there ) In this case it was somewhat the opposite. Don't be mislead by the first appearance of your cake being served unceremoniously shoveled into the papier mache equivalent of a dog bowl. However perfectly and ecologically formed from recycled pulp.  Look at that photo! The presentation, even if I were to be charitable, is unprepossessing. But I am more than willing to forgive such errant casualness. should the darkly ginger tinged nosh inside it prove superlative.

You may have heard me mention North Sea Coffee before. I do have, shall I say, the odd Flat White there. It is served in one size, in a small disposable cup, so they get that bit right. As a Flat Whitel its acceptable, but no shining gold star. It is a few kilometres away from the real deal - at The Black Apollo in Holt.  Yet after battling through the wind and rain on the Cromer seafront, particularly this past summer, with a passably good coffee at the end of it - meaner men than I would not quibble. 

What lifts any wavering spirits are the cakes. Perfect little specimens of wholesome confectionery. My personal favourites in descending priority being Date & Fig Slice - Apricot Slice - Banana Loaf.  Some of their best confectionery is produced by the Mother of one of the women who runs North Sea Coffee. She is something of a confectionery goddess as far as I'm concerned. So the day when a carrot cake appeared on the cafe's cake list, interest was peaked enough to put aside my abiding preference for the aforementioned Date & Fig Slice of immaculate conception. Such is my devotion.

Anyway, we are four paragraphs in and still scene setting. Start the review of the cake, its overdue. As you can see from the photo this was one mega piece of carrot cake, carelessly slumped as it is in its ill fitting paper potty.  Looking for all the world like a full grown man forced to wear an old school uniform. All the externals of the cake look correct. The tan colour, the weight if it, the mix, the frosting, the walnuts. Look how many walnuts there are, confident in its resemblance to a full sea of curly hair. 

Yet how often have ravishing appearances deceived us? In the world of the carrot cake looks are not entirely trustworthy.  The cake's texture was spot on. Hefty but not doughy, sturdy enough yet still a strand filled sponge, that was moist. The frosting lay there, magnificently forming a firm crust, but with the delicately sweet edged taste we expect of a superlative cream cheese. I instantly felt deep love for this rough hewn ragamuffin of a cake. Its a classic carrot cake, that doesn't need the additional plump of sultanas to brighten up its flavour spectrum.  Quite nutty though, which is a good thing. This one was indeed a very good thing. 

CARROT CAKE SCORE - 8/8



Wednesday, November 24, 2021

ARTICLE - The Books I Never Finished Reading










I recently gave up on reading Piranesi, the prize winning novel by Susanne Clarke. I got halfway through it, and still felt in a darkened state of imaginative disengagement, waiting for something to turn the light on for me. Warning signs were emerging. A determined attitude was setting in - lets put our shoulder to the wheel and get ourselves to the end. Only then could I be free to read something more enjoyable. My husband reminded me that there was another, less self punishing, option. To stop reading it altogether and move on.


Its a rare thing that I would do this. I am into completion by temperament, or should that be habit? Not finishing anything just feels lazy, fundamentally wrong. An act of failure, either on the part of my limited imaginative faculty or that of the author's. Some one has to be found to blame for this state of affairs, this failure to connect, it's either your fault or theirs. That it might simply be just not my sort of book, is like reminding the person with chronic IBS that maybe they shouldn't eat spicey foods. Its not helpful, of course we know. But we cannot resist the desire to consume whatever we want with the risk of the sudden onset of chronic diarrhoea, only one of the possible outcomes.

One can forget that reading is a voluntary act of free will, no one is making you do this. You bought or borrowed the book in the first place. You chose to read it, but tend to forget you're also equally at liberty not to do so. In theory, I think of myself as an averagely intelligent chap operating on the premise that I am able to obtain a rough and ready grasp of things. But, in reality I don't always.  Like everyone, I have my limits, even if I'm not ready and willing to openly admit it. For the male of the species this can all be a bit loaded. It would be like confirming in public you are thick or stupid. To risk ribaldry and ridicule. Something you'd just never do, however true it was, or how common place a male experience it may or may not be. Its just better to draw a very opaque veil over the whole subject.

I have given up on non fiction books when I've discovered too late they were far too theoretical or technical for me.  Recently I bought a short compilation of writings by Gaston Bachlard, because quite a few years ago I read and gained a lot from his book The Poetics of Space. However, this one, On Poetic Imagination & Reverie completely defeated me. Early warnings were the Prologue and Introduction by academic commentators, that took up half of what was a very slim volume of just over a hundred pages. The experience of reading these was reminiscent of being locked in a room where no sound could either enter or leave. They use specialist and, for me at least, impenetrable forms of expression. Despite my noncomprehension, I was not entirely convinced that they had anything of real interest to say underneath all that fawning verbiage. I found myself reading and re-reading sentences hoping to gleen a morsel of meaning from it to feed either my intellect or imagination. But they floated through my consciousness without creating the slightest ripple of understanding. This was humbling for sure. If I were then to descend into the mode of the savage critic, or worse still to character assassinate someone I've never met. Then both the author and I would be truly lost. The vindictive slap across the face of righteous impulses, should never be thoughtlessly indulged. So you didn't get it, get over it!

I don't imagine anyone wants to feel beaten by a mere book. So much so I have been known to keep trying again and again, but hitting the same wall, with an increasing degree of masochism. The best example of this tendency, was reading Thomas Pynchon's - Gravity's Rainbow. Its a very weighty book in both size, scope and complexity. I started off quite enjoying the rich quality of his writing style, this was going to be good. However, it shifts constantly about in time, period and place with little indication when you have changed location. You just have to intuit when this is happening. It has a vast range of eccentric characters, with new ones being introduced all the time. There came a point, about 150 pages in, when I found myself lost. I no longer knew who anyone was or what was happening, I became utterly exasperated. I no longer cared to live there with my imagination anymore. This happened each of the three times I attempted to read it. I have never returned to Pynchon since, its too painful an experience to risk reliving it yet again.

When it comes to my taste in music, I seem quite happy to try out anything. But equally happy to not make too big a deal of it, if it doesn't excite my interest or enthusiasm. My view towards books is apparently substantially different. Still open to trying something out. But the experience of not liking or getting on with a book, has a much more pronounced impact upon my self esteem and views of my intellectual ability. Which is interesting to note, I suppose, with regard to the fixed murky shadows of ones self view. Particularly for the practice of holding ones likes and dislikes more lightly or provisionally. Over identifying is all.


Friday, November 12, 2021

EVERYDAY RITUALS - No 3 Reading A Book

Most everyday life rituals are improved if you simply slow yourself down

Arriving home after the demanding pace of a day at work, stuffing dinner hurriedly into your face, sitting down for whatever your chosen evenings activity is. In that mentally hyped up state you find yourself still trying to multi task even in your home life. Its great on the quantity of what you achieve at the expense of the quality.  So watch a frenetically paced action movie or TV programme, whilst constantly monitoring your social media feed, talking to your kids or partner with music playing intrusively in the background. Which of these are you giving your attention to? All of them? Does this sensory overload ever stop? And we wonder why we don't sleep well, remain tired and stressed out in the morning. The multi tasking rituals of both our days and nights are all being carried out at the same driven pace. With no time off.

You would think reading a book was the one thing that could provide that time off. Yet the moment you pick up a book to read, some unresolved issue pops into your mind. So once you sit down to read acknowledge there will always be things left on your 'to do' task list. Few of them need urgently addressing right now. The more attention you give them the more the restlessness will breed, mostly to the violin accompaniment of anxiety and stress.








Turn everything else off - do one thing
The ritualised power of literature, music and drama is that, given the right conditions, they take your mind, emotions and sense for your soul, imaginatively somewhere else. To do this effectively they need to have your complete and undivided attention. It takes a concerted willed level of effort these days to put ones tablet to one side, turn off any TV, radio or background music and read. To create the conditions in which to do just the one thing. By keeping our senses in a flurry of spinning plates, at all times, are we unconsciously creating distractions that keep us at a distance from deepening our experience of engagement?









What do you read from?
I do possess a kindle and a tablet. Their capacity, lightness and portability is convenient, particularly when travelling. But lets stop for a moment to consider what the consequences are of everything happening through one device. There is no separation or demarcation of one activity from another. It's a bit like living and interacting all the time within the same room. As though the way you perceive the world has only a single window through which it can be viewed. Zoom or screen fatigue seem to be examples of what happens to us when we see everything constantly through the same restricted sensory viewpoint.  We become wired and alienated from ourselves.

This type of tech inherently cultivates a shorter attention span. It makes it far too easy to flip from the novel you are reading, to just check your emails, Instagram, or who has posted on social media recently. It allows you to respond immediately to associative connections that pop up in our mind anyway. Its a medium with built in algorithms for distraction. Before you know it you've spent two hours scrolling through quite inconsequential dross on the internet. The plot of the novel you were reading is long forgotten. Your devotion to just reading a book, as any repeatedly interrupted ritual would, loses its power to hold your interest.

Over time I found kindle/tablet use emotionally disconnected me from the act of enjoying reading. Instances of my reading or even finishing a book noticeably diminished.  A book on kindle/tablet can feel very transient, you can even switch it off like a light. One click and its as if you never read it, its no longer there. The book and the author become a bit anonymous. It vanishes from your conscious awareness far too easily.








Hold a physical book
A kindle or tablet has the weight of a wallet, the cold sensory anonymity of plastic sitting in your hand. There is an important physical ritual in the experience of holding and opening an actual book. It has a distinct cover that illustrates something about what lies within. It opens up to reveal a whole world contained within it. Hardback or paperback books have a weight and solidity to them, they feel substantial. A physical book sits on a bedside table or a shelf,  reminding you of the experience of reading it. 

Reading is as much a tactile experience, as an imaginative one. The warmth of a book in your hands, as you turn actual paper pages, you understand on a physical level where you are within the book. There is a bookmark, page numbers, to visibly mark your progress. You possess it. You connect with it as an object of love, desire and appreciation. You underline favourite passages, make marginal notes.

That there has recently been a boom in people buying hardback books. maybe in part as a reaction to the bland non descript nature of reading on electronic devices. I've returned to buying physical books, from a local bookshop.  All the browsing, the choosing, the  purchasing, is a great preliminary ritual adventure that precedes and adds to the eventual pleasure of reading the book. 

A bookshop can order you anything they don't have in store. I know its a bit counter to the instant gratification zeitgeist of our age, but having to wait for something to arrive builds through anticipation the pleasure for when it does. Bookshops are also socially enjoyable, getting to know the shop owners a little as people. To develop a relationship with them and their bookshop as a place to visit. 

This is contingent on having the surplus cash to buy new books, which I do at present. But there are still libraries and second hand stores should you wish to be more economical or ecologically minded over where you source your reading matter. 









When & how you read
All books require the arising of the apposite moment for them to be read. Don't force it, never think you ought to read anything.  I've had many a dispiriting experiences of persisting in reading a book I'm just not enjoying, or in the mood for. This can turn the act of reading into a dogged experience of stoically sticking with it through to the bitter end. It makes reading a ritual emptied of all its magical properties. So be aware of when reading a book is becoming an act of endurance, and not pleasure. You are not a failure as a person if a book fails to float your boat.

Any book needs the time and the space in which to work its magic upon you. The aftermath of reading on a kindle meant I got used to reading as a cheap, but effective, soporific before sleep. Five, maybe ten minutes max and then the head would hit the pillow. Reading as a nightcap is OK, though it doesn't suit every book. Complex plots or unusually densely structured novels don't work as bedtime reading. Ones with short episodic chapters are better. Its generally best to recognise from the outset what a book will require of you attention wise. Some books need ample amounts of time, the space in which to absorb your attention. To become slowly drawn into the world it is describing, and begin to live in it imaginatively. 

Be aware  if you find yourself clock watching, or counting the number of pages you've read. How much more till you reach the end?. Reading a book is not a mission, a time and motion survey, or on a tick list of daily life achievements. When truly in the world of a novel, or when writing, listening or watching anything, you can be transported to a space where time does not figure in quite the same way anymore. Time will fly by largely unnoticed. This relieves any pressure you may feel you are under. You do have to surrender yourself to reading. If you in anyway turn reading into a stressful activity, its ablility to relax or take you out of yourself will be diminished. Impatience will rob you of the benefit of time off.









What you read
What you read has to be something you are interested in reading. I prefer to read a book whilst my interest in a subject is peaked. Like my music choices, I enjoy following up on lines of inquiry and pursuing these interests whilst they are still alive for me. Philosophical, Poetic, Pulp, Classic or spiritual. Be aware of how much you are up for. A thumping great 600 page Hilary Mantel is quite a commitment, the chapters long and detailed, this type of book can feel herculean. Perhaps a Louis de Berniere, Armistead Maupin or Matt Haig might be more suitable, shorter chapters, narratives that move on quickly at a pace, where you can easily adjust the amount you read. A light literary stroll can sometimes just be more manageable, and hence enjoyable, than strenuous intellectual mountain climbing.

What you read may not be a novel. It might be poetry, history, psychology or an art book. I love a good autobiography or biography, but not all the time. A factual informative book occasionally. If I get a bit imaginatively dry an art or poetry book can set my creative synapses sparking again. Through past experience I've developed more of an intuitive sense for what it is I want or need to read at any one time.










Where you read
Where you are when you read is important. In bed may work, but as I've said it has its dangers of reading only being this brief ritual nightcap before slumber. But then we don't know what effect this may have upon the richness of your dreams. Where you read can vary according to the season. In the autumn and winter snuggled up in a cosy armchair in front of a real fire can be exactly the right surroundings. In the spring and summer, perhaps an outdoor seat in your garden. Or you take a walk to your favourite park, wood or bit of the coast, sit down there and read. I've found even being alone in a bustling but convivial cafe can aid concentration and absorption. Sometimes with a very good book you can become so completely absorbed in it despite the supposedly unfavourable circumstances.









Reading out loud
In the early days when humankind was moving from an oral to a written story culture, the written, carved or printed words were considered inanimate until they were spoken. Speaking brought words to life. If the texts were sacred spiritual ones, chanting or reciting them in a temple or church was a ritual central to engaging with their meaning and purpose. Speaking words aloud invoked an immediate alive connection with the sacred.

I find with poetry in particular, that the words and their meaning become so much more tangibly alive once I hear them out loud, vibrating in my larynx, vocalised sounds reverberating in a room. Sotto voce or silently to oneself doesn't quite give you enough of a physical sense for their real power. You can read a Shakespeare play, but its only when you read it out loud or see someone else perform it, does it reveal more of its depths. To vocalise poetic words throws a pebble into a pond that 'touches the depths before it breaks the surface,' as Gaston Bachlard expressed it. It plucks on the harp of unconscious feeling.

Reading  silently to oneself is a relatively recent phenomena. Silent reading to a largely illiterate society was considered rude or selfish. You were fortunate if you were educated and able to read. Books were rare, so you were encouraged to share them by reading them out loud to others. This rekindled the memory of an older communal oral storytelling tradition. When Dickens toured doing public readings, these became a central part of how he connected with his readership. It didn't matter whether you were able to read or not, you could hear the stories being dramatically read onstage by their author.

The way words and conjunctions of words resonate in a space and within us, can touch and move us in unexpected ways. I know it feels to us now an odd thing to do, but it is worth giving reading aloud a try, to yourself indoors or outdoors, or to others if you feel brave enough. 









Reading as shamanism

Reading has always possessed this ritual incantation aspect, to summon up mercurial spirits of wonder and inspiration. Reading touches on our roots and ancestry, the demons and angels, the mythic elements that have guided the human spirit of adventure. As we read we reach out to inhabit and shift through the past, present and future. Passing through this world, old and new, other worldly realms, of fantastic alien places. We become one with the muse of an author, their vision becomes our vision, their images become ours, what was once another's imaginative world  becomes ours. The ritual of reading can hold us in a trance, right up to the moment we turn the last page, close the book and put it aside.

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

LISTENING TO - Hey What by Low











The album Hey What ends as it begins with a symphonic crescendo of beautifully orchestrated kerrangs of noise. Heavily compressed bass sounds, fuzzy edged guitar reverbs, thunderous drums and drones, electronic ticks,tape loops and wailing tones coming at you from all directions. Over the top is the glorious ravishing vocal harmonies of Alan Sparrowhawk and Mimi Parker. Weaving a musical majesty rarely heard since The Cocteau Twins ceased to exist.

There is a lot to be discovered on this album. I find it an intensely moving listening experience. The soundscapes Low paint are huge, expansive, liberating ones. I'm tempted to say spiritual, in the sense that the effect of it is a hopeful and uplifting one, as if it releases something previously imprisoned or weighed down.

The track Disappearing and the albums opening track White Horses are representative indications of the sonic world a Low album currently inhabits.

 .



And yet picking out individual tracks like this does not entirely convey the overall form that this album takes. Each song moves through connecting interludes that bring you almost seamlessly into the next track. Its a type of song cycle.

I'm beginning exploring Low's back catalogue of twelve previous albums. A listen to Things We Lost In The Fire from 2001 reveals an apparently different sparse and generally acoustic sound. Bundled in with the late nineties 'slowcore' sub genre, there appears to have been quite a stylistic shift in Low along their twenty five year history as a band. 

Hey What is an identifiably progressive development. It cranks up a massive wall of sound from the embryonic foundations of their previous 2018 album Double Negative. That album is a more lyrical, plaintive and romantically intimate offering. By comparison Hey What possesses this awesome magnificence, the scale and glittering urban sophistication of a huge skyscraper backlit by a gorgeous sunrise.


However, in the way they carefully place their voices then allow a beautifully sparse soundscape to expand behind it, there is some continuity between what they are exploring now with their earlier work.. They may have been more low-fi and subdued, but the sense of drawing you into a whole other realm is still present. Its just that with Hey What without any sense of bombast or an overinflated concept, they've sculpted with much larger musically imposing forms and flown high with them. This album has such a beauty to it, I find it pretty much flawless.

CARROT REVIEW - 8/8