SHOPPING AROUND - A Man Knitting In Public

I come from a family of knitters. It wasn't, however, until the early 1980's that I decided to learn how to knit. I was working in an Art Shop in Barnet when a wool shop opened up next door. I bought a small introductory How To Knit booklet, needles and practice wool, then started to teach myself. This was in the days before You Tube tutorials, so you just had to get your head around how to do stitches from, frankly, not very helpful diagrams.

Once I'd begun, I found I instinctively knew how to do some of it. Having sat at my Grandma's knee, helped ball up skeins of wool, and watched her and my Mother knit. The first garment I finished was a truly gargantuan green mohair jumper ( it was the 80's ) This stayed stuffed in a bag in a wardrobe for years. I was so embarrassed by it I never wore it. The moths then got to - so I binned it. To this day, though I carefully do test swatches till my hands and eyes bleed,  I can never quite get my sizings exactly right. But I eventually did a passable Arran jumper, mastered a sleeveless bottle green cable jumper I wore endlessly for years, then progressed on to Fair Isle. 

In my lunchtime break I took to going to the nearest local park, found a quiet corner with a covered seating area, got out my needles and knitted. All went well the first few times. But then one lunch break a young urchin on a child's bike stopped and looked at me a perplexed. He said:-

'What you makin?'

'A scarf'

'Don't girls knit?

'Yes, but so do I'

'But your not a girl'

'Yes, that's true'

And with a

'Hmph'

he rode off

This was not to be the end of it. The young urchin may have left,  but only to find scruffier friends to tell them what he'd just seen, and return with them to witness 'a man knitting in public'. 

The gang was a mixture of ages, the young urchin being probably the baby of the outfit. There was also some sort of ranking, where the taller, older and grubbier one was. the higher up the leadership ladder one rose. The present leader approached me on his bicycle alternating between balancing on it and cycling backwards and forwards in a predatory manner, whilst he fired off questions at me.

'Why do you want to knit?"

'Because I enjoy it'

'Why do you want to do it here?'

'I come to the park to relax and have my lunch'

'But knitting is what girls do'

Oh here we go again, I thought, replying

'No it isn't, anyone can do it'

After a short pause for some thought, he found the question he'd really been searching for.

'Are you a poofter'

'Non of your business'

You are. Aren't you? You're a poofter. Poofters knit'

And as this descended into general sniveling, giggling and jeering from the rest of the group, I started to be nervous at the direction the conversation had now lurched. 

'Look, clear off and let me have my lunch in peace.'

'Your a poofter, cos you are knitting. A real man wouldn't knit.'

'Well, I do, so... fuck off'

I realised then that a sub group of older boys were pulling in closer and this wasn't so they could admire my amazing stitch tension. If I didn't make a move soon I'd be corralled by a phalanx of spotty teenagers on bicycles. I packed up my lunch box, made an intention to leave the park, and walked calmly away. Which I did. With the sound of them squealing:-

'Wanker' 'Poofter'  'Shirt Lifter' 'OOOwee'

as I walked away. I finished off my lunch on a bench near the High Street, without visible knitting. I never tried public knitting nor went to that park, or any park for that matter, to knit, ever again.

These days I knit in the shop quite openly. And most of the time that feels perfectly fine.  But there are days when couples wander into the Courtyard. Blokes give me the evil eye, when they see I'm knitting. Homosexual alert written across their eyebrows. I hear them mutter to their wives as they walk away:-

'Did you see that guy in there, he was knitting.'

Or aggressively pull their wife away from deep sniffing the wax melts, with a:-

'There's nothing we want from here Beryl'

Its as though male knitting were some strangely distasteful craft, like voodoo head shrinking. I've wondered how often folk don't come in the shop because they see a bloke knitting, sewing or doing crochet,and simply find that too challenging. One look at my yarn and needles, daggers are drawn, adjust their bandanna or Liverpool supporters football shirt. Hurrying the little woman along. Nothing to see here.

At other times a single women will come in and say

'It's good to see a man knitting'

Whilst I know they mean well, it does feel patronising, whilst not being clear why exactly it's 'good' to see a man knitting. They are just trying to be encouraging, and understand that a man kitting in public is still risking ridicule. Others more straightforwardly say:-

'It's unusual to see a man knitting.'

Which it is, but it shouldn't be. Men have always knitted, top designers knit, sportsmen knit, actors knit, fishermen used to knit and repair their Gansey's, men being seen knitting ought not to be thought that unusual. But it is. They say:-

'What is it you're knitting' 

'A facecloth'

And this for some reason prompts an outpouring of guilt, remorse and self recrimination about past or present failures.

'I don't get on with knitting, more a crochet person. Nothing too adventurous mind. I just don't have the patience. I can't find the time these days. But one day, you never know, I might have a surge.... of inspiration. Though I'm far too lazy really, no patience me'

One lady recently too a posed photo of me knitting, presumably to pass round their more  interesting friends.

'I found this very exotic animal working in a Sheringham shop, it was a man knitting. Very unusual. knitting a scrubbie, I think he called it, out of dishcloth cotton. Quite remarkable'

It is more than likely that they're taking the photo as encouragement to their husband- brother - son, whose a closet knitter, but really needs to get out more.

Come on Brothers! Lift up your needles in solidarity! Go Public! Break the Taboo.

FEATURE - Writing On A Grain Of Rice

The osteoarthritis in my hands means the strength in my grip is getting weaker. My fingers also lack the dexterity and control to do really detailed work anymore. So if I live to 82 years old, I hope I'm still able to write coherently and legibly. I do not however think I will aim to be able to write like this Japanese man, on a grain of rice or in a miniscule book. Just another example, should you need it, of the obsession with detail to the point of  awestruck wonder, that is the Japanese imagination when set free.

Watch this video click on the link Writing on a grain of rice

FEATURE - Making Japanese Hikihaku Woven Obi

 

I never cease to be amazed at the meticulous level of workmanship and attention to detail of the Japanese. The beauty of the result seemingly always worth going beyond that extra mile. Here its the production of the Hikihaku obi kimono sash. Yes, they make it out of gold or silver threads, which are gold or silver leaf stuck onto thin washi kozo tissue, then cut into ultra thin strips which are then woven into the fabric of the obi. That they also make Hikihaku out of Mother of Pearl and incorporate the beautiful blue of Lapis Lazuli, is when my jaw drops. It is such as shame that this beautiful weaving skill is now almost inevitably bound to vanish as all the remaining Hikihaku makers are in their seventies, and there are now no longer people who even know how to repair their weaving machines. Soetsu Yanagi will be turning in his grave.

FEATURE - Printing William Morris Wallpaper

If you have ever balked at the price of hand printed wallpapers, and to be honest who hasn't? This short V &A film about printing William Morris wallpaper demonstrates why. With fifteen different blocks and colours on just one design, this is a phenomenal amount of work to go into the making of one roll. Is it worth it? I guess it is, if you have the dosh. For the rest of us, it will be the mechanised reproduction knocked off cheaply, in the far east probably.  

His designs at the time were beyond all but the wealthy middle class. Though he always had an aspiration to make his designs available for everyone. Nonetheless, it never ceases to amaze me that the continuing influence of Morris goes well beyond the actual market reach of the stuff he made at the time. The idea of handmade arts and crafts endures beyond most peoples ability to participate financially. We all hanker on some level to return to a pre-industrial age, that Morris allows us to play let's pretend with. One has also to acknowledge that Morris was a brilliant at pattern designer, and you could say he was a pioneer of good design.

FEATURE - The School of Flock - William Morris

If I give it its full title - Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen's School of Flock that sort of tells you all you need to know right from the outset. This is fast becoming my favourite breakfast nibble in the early hours of the morning. This one is on William Morris. Lawrence is as ever informative, engaging and features himself bedecked in a three piece suit made from a Morris fabric. Understated it is not, we expect nothing less from him. Its quite simple to camera stuff with photos intercut, but this is the most fun you can have learning about fabric design on You Tube. Go on try it on for size.

STREAMING FAVE RAVE - Baumgartner Restoration

My love of watching craft makers at work cannot currently be sated by The Repair Shop.  I've watched them all. I've searched further afield for my fix, eventually coming across Julian Baumgartner on You Tube. Currently I can't quite get enough of watching his working process. I am in awe.

The work demands someone who is methodical and patient. Lots of scraping away, thoughtful slow careful preparation, the time he takes over this is simply astounding. These are obviously edited videos, often speeded up filming to fit into a half hour or hours running time. Then there is the cleaning, executed in rhythmic circular motions taking off just the dirt and varnish, but no more. If it won't come off with gentle solvents, then its stronger ones, and if these are ineffective then he scratches the residual old varnish off bit by tiny bit with a scalpel. All of these processes cannot be hurried and may take hours and hours and hours.

All the while he's not getting into a flap. His tables, unlike mine, never get messy or disorganised. He makes sure he takes regular breaks from the tediousness of some tasks. He knows how to look after his mental health. Loves the restoration part but is used to delaying his gratification sometimes for days. Then there are the decisions he has to make about what he is or isn't going to conserve, how far he is going to take his restoration, what his client wants and what he can deliver.

Here is one just so you get the feeling for its fascinating minimalism. Be warned its addictive and some of his videos have several sequences to be watched.

A SPIRITUAL BASTING - Put Your Awakened Mind To Work.

A series of blog posts reflecting on spiritual practise in everyday life. Inspired by phrases from Dogen's Instructions For The Tenzo.

Put Your Awakened Mind To Work

The Chanyuan Qinggui also says, 'Put your awakened mind to work'

A spirit of deep seated nihilism like an incurable infection is raging through the Western psyche. It sits silently, like an Aids virus within the body politic, of our society, economics, politics and culture, ready at any moment to drain them of resistance, to have the life purged from them. Contemporary art is not exempt from this. In its heart lies a profound cynicism that gorges upon its own pretences and delusions. Paradoxically, what stands for the avante-garde these days, acts according to very predictable, even safe conventions; it must be provocative, be socially, morally or politically challenging, it must flout or break taboos, be hostile, aggressive, anarchic, gratuitous and cruel towards its subject matter, to decry what is beautiful as fake. Art has always had a crucial role in defining and representing the nature of humanity and civilisation to itself, but its rarely been quite as lifeless, ephemeral or slight, as visually and intellectually opaque, as now. Art is showing us a Western civilisation that has entered a darkened room from which no light is allowed to escape.

There is little kindness to this art, it points towards human suffering, but sees in it only a talismanic form of aesthetic truth, neutered and stripped of tangible feeling or empathy. Whilst it might bring an artist fame, it wont necessarily bring that artist, nor the people who view their art, towards a wiser and more compassionate outlook. Its objects and objectives are slaves to nihilistic derision. If modern art is holding up a mirror, its showing us the twisted mind, the corrupted soul of our modern self obsessed world. Its difficult to see in any of this the work of an awakened mind, it appears to 'lack the spirit' of the Bodhisattva.

I am no Bodhisattva, and do not consciously know of any in my life. I have not by any stretch of the imagination had a 'vision of things as they really are'. I've been lucky enough to have discovered Buddhism, studied its teachings and can, at least, imaginatively conceive of its ultimate aim. My eyes have been a tiny bit opened up by all of this, but I do not fully comprehend. I continue instinctively to re-invigorate the desire to clean myself up and look through a mud smeared windscreen for clarity of vision.

Achieving Insight rarely happens instantaneously in the moment as portrayed in Zen history. Insight is dependent and predicated upon a daily seeing through aspects of ones thoughts, behaviour and life events. Noticing the minutia of ordinary life and interpreting what is seen through a closely focused Buddhist lens. It is all right before our very eyes, though we mostly miss it because we suffer from a form of spiritual glaucoma. Part of our perception is obscured by delusive ideas about ourselves and the world we live and work within. Though our insightfulness is out of focus we are always in the process of sharpening it, of 'awakening to awakening'. Whatever the state of awakening my mind has currently reached, I put that 'awakening mind' to work in my day to day existence, within whatever I do, including my artistic creative process..

Whether creating art or creating a meal both involve a similar process for the individuals involved.  All the general human neuroses, paranoia's, mental habits, emotional mood swings and fluctuations of feeling are present whilst making a meal or a piece of art. Whatever we do in life is a creative act, humanity is forever conjuring something out of nothing. I was once a Kitchen Porter, which in my experience could feel like one long physically demanding drudge if you let it. Constantly cleaning crockery, cutlery, pots and pans of the residue, of the half finished remains of someones delectable coq au van. Its a restorative act of creativity, returning crockery and cutlery to a sterilised pristine finish. Serving the cook, the meal and the next customer who eats off that plate. Its similar to priming a canvas, preparing a surface to serve something beautiful upon.

There will most likely be feelings of worthlessness or meaninglessness present there too. But these are present wherever we hope for purposeful fulfilment but our feelings tell us we are trapped in barren conditions. A fertile seed plonked in apparently infertile ground for growth. Yet I can feel a similar feeling of utter pointlessness even with the artistic process and its outcome. Moving from happy elation to thunderous frustration in the click of a moment. Still and concentrated one minute, slipping into tense nervousness. Inspired and on a creative roll then wallowing in despondency, feelings of stagnation or a generalised sense of dull stuckness. Confidence and self doubt swap places in an instant. Which all indicates that its not just about the nature of the job but what we want or do not get from it. The search for meaning in a seemingly meaningless and indifferent world is the essence of the human predicament.

Though we are all searching for fulfilment through whatever we are doing, we can sometimes find its is intermittent or absent altogether. Our sense for what fulfilment is and where it can be found is often misplaced. Its as though we are gazing up into a bright blue sky looking for a lost contact lens that's slipped somewhere underneath the sofa. But when we yearn for self- fulfilment what are we talking about? A clue lies in the hyphenation of self with fulfilment.

Its not that we can't find fulfilment through the things we do, we can, but its a fleeting impermanent one. One hundred percent job satisfaction is not really possible. Even a dream ideal job will have its moments of boredom where unsatisfactory feelings will raise their ugly head. Looking for long lasting fulfilment through worldly things is an endeavour with a predictable inconsistent outcome. The Buddha spoke of eight Worldly Winds that can easily sweep our happy contented fulfilment off course if we let them. These come formulated as four pairings of opposites - Praise & Blame - Fame & Infamy - Loss & Gain - Pleasure & Pain. Whenever one or two of these become present in whatever job we are doing, then 'I want' or 'I don't want' whats happening will start to foul the sweet air.

It is the self that 'does or does not want'. The self is the thing that seeks fulfilment, but what is the nature of that self and can it ever be truly satisfied?  Once you start examining the self, you wonder where exactly does it abide and find you're dealing with a very slippery customer indeed. One of the things that becomes quickly apparent is that our sense of self requires constant reaffirmation. Its like an animal constantly hungry for attention, to be fed, stroked and pampered. If our self desires fulfilment its because it has this sense of a lack, of a void inside that needs filling full, an existential emptiness. The self fears it doesn't possess a stable permanent existence and creates events and new exciting things to distract us from this rather discomforting fact. Our sense of self is more a verb than a noun. If self-fulfilment can't be found in this job, well lets change jobs. change partner, change house, change your location, change your entire life. Self-fulfilment is always over the next horizon.

Though the search for self-fulfilment is perfectly understandable given the existential imperative, it remains a bit of a dream we are unwilling to wake up from. Trying to dodge the effects of the Worldly Winds as we progress into the future is a never ending task, one bound to fail at some point. So the first things to put your 'awakening mind' to work on is - what is your self seeking fulfilment from and how realistic is that? How much are the Worldly Winds still directing your daily actions? You put your 'awakening mind' to work on the parts of your experience you are still not fully aware of. The things you are still sound asleep to,










  

A SPIRTUAL BASTING ~ The Bodhisattva Spirit Aroused

A series of blog posts reflecting on spiritual practise in everyday life. Inspired by phrases from Dogen's Instructions For The Tenzo.

The Bodhisattva Spirit Aroused

' Carried out by teachers settled in the way and by others who have aroused the bodhisattva spirit within themselves'

If you thought being a cook was a menial job, then think again. Its hard work, where good planning and preparation are more than half the task. Not just anyone who fancies a bit of large scale cooking can actually do it. In a monastery kitchen there is an additional requirement for that cook to also be a teacher, of the practicalities of cooking certainly, but more importantly to guide the spiritual practice of their novice kitchen assistants. Cooking here is a personal practice until the depth and richness of it leaves the taste of Enlightenment on their palate.

To be a teacher, you have to know what it is you have to teach, the resources, knowledge and experience you can draw on and impart. These cook/teachers aren't just 'settling' but have to be 'settled in the way'  No need for further sorting out, its largely resolved. So whilst we may not be looking at fully fledged Enlightened Masters here, they come close. Dedicated to helping others learn what they have learnt, to see what they have seen, to have a vision of reality as it truly is, to try to save everyone from unnecessary suffering. This is the definition of what a Bodhisattva does.

At the very least the cook will have 'aroused the bodhisattva spirit within themselves'. Aroused  out of their slumber, their dreaming, their delusions, their ignorance. The daily work of a Bodhisattva is not a nice fuzzy ideal you light a candle for, its a serious commitment that always demands action. Its not just a head thing, or a heart thing, but a compassionate thing, a strong feeling in your guts that propels you into selfless action. The Bodhisattva is the rescuer, offering a hand to pull you out from whatever pit of despair you happen to have fallen into this week.

Though I've felt inspired at times by the ideal of becoming a Bodhisattva, it's rare for me to be highly motivated in the carrying out and exemplification part. Too inhibited, too scared, too self absorbed with 'what about poor me?'  Its all too easy to dress up what you are doing as the selfless actions of the Bodhisattva, because your self-esteem has taken a shine to being a one.  Maybe all you are really seeking is a bit of ego pampering. So the game would be lost there then. Ultimately the Bodhisattva cannot be self serving. Serving the needs of others is the spiritual essence for them. their sole and primary motivation. Dogen, goes on to warn ~

'Such a practice requires exerting all your energies. If someone entrusted with this work lacks such a spirit, then they will only endure unnecessary hardships and suffering that will have no value in their pursuit of the Way'.

All your mental, physical and spiritual resources should be at your finger tips. Any person who undertakes Bodhisattva work as a tenzo, or any other job, must be a quietly integrated person, emotionally robust, with a wise clear way of thinking.  A self deluded Bodhisattva easily buffeted off course by the storms and vicissitudes of life, just cannot be. You will not turn yourself into a Bodhisattva by a forceful act of will alone. Believing yourself to be a Bodhisattva when you aren't is then the worst form of delusion. Getting hold of the wrong end of this stick would be an act of self harm.

Yet even Bodhisattvas had to start somewhere and I bet they focused their efforts close to home. Here am I, an artist/craftsman, seemingly a whole world away from the monastic tenzo. My work can often be solitary, creatively self absorbed, indulgent you might say, and prone to acts of aesthetic self stimulation. But, nevertheless, it raises an interesting question - how could a different spirit could be aroused to inform this or any other form of work? Just park how you might feel about your job, and for a second try to be less subjective in your assessments of its worth or value to you. Start by asking what is your job for, what's its purpose, who is it benefits in a positive way from all your effort, ingenuity and energy? Enquire within too, what is it you want and what you get from your work, and are any of those things reasonable or attainable?

All work, you could say, has an 'aesthetic aura' surrounding it, this may be a pleasant, unpleasant or even an indifferent aura. A combination of the people, the place, the management might make your work an enjoyable or a dispiriting thing to be a part of. These knid of factors affect how we feel, not just about our work, but about ourselves when executing it. Its understandable that one might settle in to a smouldering resentment. But I'd want to encourage seeing whatever happens in your daily life through a more understanding empathic open minded lens.

People never behave badly without an underlying cause. This doesn't make their behaviour excusable or reasonable, but its good not to rush to judgement to condemn or revile them, in a knee jerk kind of way. We are all quite self preoccupied, other people gives as much thought to you and how they might annoy you, as you might of them ie. not a lot. Ask what is it you are bringing to this situation? Try to imagine the suffering involved, not just to you, but for others and for them. How must they be feeling deep down in order to behave like that, the deep dissatisfaction and resentments festering underneath finding its release through dreadful behaviour? Empathy touches on our own suffering to help us feel for someone else's predicament. If you can imaginatively reach out and feel the suffering in someone else's existential situation, there is a huge shift from self absorbed to other absorbed. Then our relations with others may begin to be transformed.

Art and craft work appears unlikely to save anyone from the sort of existential suffering I'm talking about here. I can often find myself struggling with my works purpose and why create at all. But underneath that despair and often a sense of meaninglessness, I do know. I have always wanted to make the world better somehow through creating beautiful things, to bring a heightened sense of aesthetics into the world. The grim ugliness I often find surrounding me fouls up my joie de vivre. Creativity swells up from an underground stream fed from the slow moving waters of human suffering and the existential ugliness of pain. A touch of beauty, at best, can colour, sooth and transform these unpromising sources.

Whether you're cooking a meal, creating an artwork or cleaning shit from a toilet, your individual talents, energy and life force are being put to the service of others. In our predominantly urban environments its hard not to become alienated, cut off from everything and everyone that surrounds us. Our boundaries feel constantly under attack, so we defend our sense of our self by creating distance, by building physical and psychological walls. Things start to change if such self constructed barriers can be dismantled. Openeing up to reconnect with people on a basic human empathic level. Contrary to appearances, we are all crying out for affection and help, for someone to support us, to hold our hand for a while. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Tune into this, because this is what will eventually arouse the bodhisattva spirit from its slumber.

A SPIRITUAL BASTING ~ Carry Out The Activities Of A Buddha

A series of blog posts reflecting on spiritual practice in everyday life. Inspired by phrases from Dogen's Instructions For The Tenzo.

Carry Out The Activities Of A Buddha

'The monks holding each office are all disciples of the Buddha and all carry out the activities of a Buddha through their respective offices.'

In these few opening sentences The Instructions For The Tenzo lays out a simple context and purpose for monastic office holders and their work. Though applicants should be able to keep the monastic community healthy and running smoothly on a very pragmatic level, its their spiritual qualifications for taking office that are considered the most important - to 'carry out the activities of a buddha' through their daily work.

What would this mean, not just for the cook, but for anyone performing any task?  The linear notes to this statement inform us its 'to live constantly settling one's life'. 'Settling' is an interesting word choice. In English we can refer to people as 'having settled down' which can have a slightly derogatory inference. The subtext being 'they're lives have become quite traditional and predictable, if not boring - just like the rest of us' . The unconventional has become conventional, once perhaps a risk taker but now perceived as playing it safe.

From the viewpoint of traditional Buddhism to 'have settled down' would be tantamount to the death of their spiritual practise, a lifestyle thats too comfortable, taking shelter in domesticity, trying to sidestep the tricky devil of dukkha, and the raw underbelly of unsatisfactoriness in life.

There is, however, another meaning to 'settling', which is ' to sort out', to have 'come to terms with things'. So ' to live constantly settling one's life' is really a description of the whole purpose of Buddhist practise; to constantly strive to come to terms with how things really are, and to become so settled to be able to abide in that insightful state.

Returning again to those linear notes, they couch 'carry out the activities of a buddha' as 'to actually put your life to work...to make it function in a way that things become most settlied'  To grasp your ordinary life and give it spiritual purpose - to make our ordinary life function as the means to fully seeing the way things really are. Any day, any task, however humble, non-descript or apparently useless ought to be able to work as a means of truly seeing how reality is. Requiring us to remain alert, open and on the case with where our lives and practise are currently at. For what can seem a workable effective approach one week, can feel absolutely dead in the water the next. Nothing stays the same forever, conditions change, things move on as the impermanent nature of reality shape shifts, yet again.

The tasks themselves, however, alter only slghtly, cooking remains cooking, artistry remains artistry. Both are things that human beings choose to do. It is 'why' and 'how' we do them that is susceptible to change.  What would it mean to make work a means of self-transformation, a means to Enlightenment, work enabling you to seeing things as they really are? What does 'seeing things as they really are' mean anyway? It implies our present human way of seeing and being, is one that is obscuring or deluding us. We certainly are inconsistent as practitioners, one minute conscious of what we're doing, the next off with the fairies.

According to the Buddha there are four false perceptions of reality obscuring our vision; that the world can be perfected; that worldly things can make you consistently happy; that the world is permanent; that your self's existance within that world is as a fixed entity. These false perceptions restrict and cloud our imaginations. So traditionally speaking, to see through these four false perceptions would be like lifting a fog, creating the conditions to perceive reality as it really is.

Note your mental state as you are working; the moments when you're irritated or frustrated are the best, to spot whats going on in the background. These are moments when you are not getting what you want, so what you want becomes double underlined, with an exclamation mark for added emphasis!. So you feel very cogently, when you are in pursuit of perfection; what it is you are seeking consistent happiness from?; how much of your behaviour is based on a model of how reality is,one that has a permanent world view underlying it? These three form the foundations for the fourth false perception, of the steady state view of your self, that you  can be free of suffering, that you can be perfect, you can be happy all the time, that you have a spirit, soul or consciousness that is eternal and will survive your physical bodies death.

To the extent we all act according to these four false perception, we will not be fully ready to 'carry out the activities of a Buddha.' When this does happen it would instigate a fundamental shift in how we carry out our life and work. Once we are no longer striving for permanent worldly perfection, for permanent happiness for ourselves from the world, then our fixed sense of reality and of our self as an unchanging entity ruling within it, takes on a more fluid nature, more at ease with the flux of our changing substance. A truer perception of the world will have arrived, most likely, so we are told, unnanounced by any fanfare.  Living our lives and work on the basis of how reality is, not how we'd like it to be, that would be the activity of a Buddha. .


* Extracts from Thomas Wright's translation - From The Zen Kitchen To Enlightenment, First Published by Weatherhill in 1983.

A SPIRITUAL BASTING ~ From Ancient Times

A series of blog posts reflecting on spiritual practice in everyday life. Inspired by phrases from Dogen's Instructions For The Tenzo as inspiration

'From Ancient Times'

' From ancient times, in communities practicing the Buddha's Way, there have been six offices established to oversee the affairs of the community...... Among these is the tenzo, who carries the responsibility of preparing the community's meals.' *

Whilst I am a Buddhist praticioner, I'm also an artist/craftsman. Endeavouring to keep in daily contact with Dogen's ideas about work as a spiritual practice. Applying these to my own eveyday life experience. Remaining creative within this is not without its challenges. It also requires a degree of translation and contextual reimagining to ensure its usefulness within 21st Century conditions.

A tenzo is the head cook in a Zen monastery, they have a practical yet life enhancing role. Cooking for them becomes entirely a selfless act of other regarding service. To place your culinary talents before everyone to either savour or reject, is a testing practice. When it comes to what they eat, people can become picky and complain about the smallest thing. Food is rarely able to please everyone. Seeking praise or appreciation is a lottery with the potential to build or crush anyone's ego. Likewise, in the world of art and craft, its perilous to be too closely attached to what you do. Its rare for any aesthetic endeavour to be universally appreciated, people either love or loath it in equal measure. This is just how it is.

Dogen emphasises how important it is to not over invest in the end result of your effort, particularly if you desire it to be appreciated, or worse still want it to be perfect. However, your ego still grasps for every crumb of praise it can, because your self esteem has a perpetually hungry bottomless pit of a stomach. This doesn't mean you shouldn't try to do your best. Instead try doing your best, but without those limpet like expectations. Perceive your work through the broader perspective of how what you are doing can be of benefit to others, not only through the myopic view of your selfish needs.

At first glance the similarities between cooking and the artistic process are unclear. Art appears to have no
immediate tangible benefit in quite the way that cooking has. Cooking sustains life, it helps us survive. Any creative process, whilst it may sustain the spirit and feed the soul, from a practical viewpoint its an activity devoid of use. However, looked at from a spiritual viewpoint impracticality can be transformed into a virtue, the more useless it is the better. That aesthetics is largely divorced from utility is part of its purpose and raison d'etre.

Arts purpose, if well executed, isn't a panacea to make existence tolerable, nor intoxicate you like a drug. It deals mostly in those fuzzyheaded intangibles, not clearly comprehensible, pointing towards something out of reach and quite 'other' than terre firme. The sole purpose of the artistic process and its result, is to cultivate our individual and collective receptivity to this.

'From ancient times' Art has performed a distinctive function for humanity, introducing us, at to best, to awe and an elevated spirit. Cathedrals or Buddhist Temples if they are working correctly should take our breath away almost from the moment we enter. This may only be for a split second of uplift, a fleeting experience of exaltation, vanishing before we even consciously notice it. Yet to imagine trying to achieve that through one's cooking, or through your everyday life and experience, can seem an overwhelming, if not impossible, thing to attempt.

Yet Dogen insists later on in the Instructions For The Tenzo that we should aim to build 'great temples out of ordinary greens', meaning out of the humdrum ordinary things of life. To endeavour to create something beautiful out of unpromising material, out of nothing, out of nowhere, out of this imperfect world. This reaches to the core of human creativity. We embellish and beautify pretty much everything we make. Machines, from a practical point of view don't require painting at all, it contributes nothing towards their better functioning. That we paint tractors bright colours appeals to us aesthetically, it makes us feel better about the cold lifelessness of this useful tool we are using. To apply extra effort into cutlery to make it pleasing to hold, lifts it from utility into an aesthetic experience. Utility can only be elevated spiritually by cultivating our altruistic impulses. To do everything for the benefit of others.

Lets make no bones about it, no one has ever died from a lack of Art or aesthetics in their lives. But despite this, it remains the quintessence of our dreams. Humankind as a species has been propelled forward by the supposed 'madness' of its dreamers. To deprive life of Art, and the spiritual intent embroidered beneath it, would render our existance arid and cold.  'From ancient times' from the instant our ancestors began painting magic animals onto walls in the deepest recesses of caves. But even when their religious significance or purpose has dwindled we still return to caves, temples and cathedrals because of what they represent. They reconnect us with what we've lost touch with. This lies outside and beyond our understanding of a universe based on scientific rationalism.

Whilst cooking feeds our stomachs, broader creative impulses feed our spirit, raise up our hearts to ease the troubles of our restless minds. Art has performed this role 'from ancient times'. Communicating through artists, visionaries and shamans, the values and intuitions, not just of what we have become, but more importantly what we can become. We are the lucky inheritors of this vast evolutionery and creative legacy. Nothing new or unique ever emerges into our world, that isn't indebted in someway to things learnt, passed on and influencing us 'from ancient times'.  


* Extracts from Thomas Wright's translation - From The Zen Kitchen To Enlightenment, First Published by Weatherhill in 1983.

COTTONWOOD HOME ~ We're Open!

So we are finally open. Whilst we've been anxious in advance of experience about whether our stock would sell, it would appear we need not have exercised our worry muscles quite so assertively. The 1st of June was a hot day in Sheringham where most of the visitors headed for the beach, passing our now infamous sinkhole. All the other retailers in our courtyard said it was a quiet day as a result, but for our first day we felt it went really well. Though we didn't know what to expect, it exceeded our cautious expectations.  

I took these photographs at the end of the day just before we closed. We really did have customers honest, these weren't taken on slow exposure to eradicate all sign of human life, its just I didn't want to appear intrusive or inappropriate.

We've had lots of local people coming in just to see what the shop looks like and they've been very encouraging. Now we actually have a shop it brings renewed impetus to our making. Even when the shop is quiet we can still be knitting or crocheting something. There is a sense of something having lifted now we are no longer making items in a vacuum.

Jnanasalin 'a crocheting'

Lovely flowers from family

An offering of sweets and biscuits for our customers

The back of our window display

Jnanasalin closing our very high Velux 

COTTONWOOD SHOP REFIT ~ 4th Week ~ Countdown to Opening

FIVE
Our last day of shop fitting. Fixing up our feature display unit, card shelves and rack for wrapping paper. In a way its a bit of a relief to be finishing all this prep side, so tomorrow we can get on with the real business of a retail shop fit ~ the stock

FOUR
It took three car trips to get all the stock into the shop. Once we'd unpacked a few boxes you could hardly move for discarded packaging. For day one of merchandising we've done very well, the basic blocking of the stock layout has been completed.



We are beginning to get a sense of what works and doesn't work on our shelving. Less is more being generally the case here. We aren't high end but we're not bargain basement either. So giving stock enough space will be important for us to maintain.

THREE
It's obvious today that apart from cushions and the stock we've bought in, we have no back up stock for some items that we've made. One of our middle of the night anxieties about this retail venture is being able to make items fast enough to keep up with sales without sacrificing quality. But first we need to get a sense for what sells and how quickly. Still loads to be done. A window display, price labelling, setting up the till, jewellery stands to be made up, etc etc etc.

TWO
I spent the morning putting in the window display using our 'gansey styled' cushion range. The photographs don't quite capture how good it looks. Meanwhile Jnanasalin was setting up all the stock on the till system. After dinner I went home to do work in the workshop on frames for some lovely prints we have. I'm not a hugely confident framer, but I am very pleased with the quality of the results.

ONE
Our last day before we open to the general public. Almost ready, just pricing and final tweaking, plus all those little things that support the running of a shop that don't surface until you are almost there, or actually open, and you realise you need a cleaning and tool kit etc. The pricing went quite smoothly, and brings that finishing touch to 'a shop'. We've done our best but not everything in the shop has the best sales position on this time around, but we'll get there.

It feels great to finally get everything that doesn't need to be there, not just off the floor, but returned to home. Its been quite testing to my equanimity when I'm in the workshop and realise the tool I need is in the shop, or vice versa. It goes without saying, that we're both very pleased with how the shop looks. We've had a lot of appreciative and encouraging comments in person and online. If we let go of our anxiety there is a certain excitable air that takes flight about how it all will go on the 1st June, my god that's tomorrow.

Everything packed & ready to go home

COTTONWOOD SHOP REFIT ~ 3rd Week ~ A Shop Taking Form

After making the shop fit for purpose, comes the shop fittings. Lets just say a lot of unpacking and assembling has gone on.  We've both passed our IKEA Assembly Proficiency Level 4, so we found these relatively straight forward. The Till Counter arrived, followed on successive days by shelving and our signage created and installed by Graphic Edge. The shop has limited space for storage, so we've bought IKEA storage units. Always impressed by the ingenious nature of flat pack assembly. These ones required no bolts or locking devices and were simply pressed together in a matter of minutes

Signage being installed

'The Monolith' is no more. After the agony entailed in my making it fast became redundant once we re-thought our floor layout. All the messy meters, switches and wires are now hidden behind a 7ft high hinged door that we made, covered in a piece of stunning Scion fabric that we picked up in Matlock Bath for less than a third the RRP. Result.

By the end of next week we'll be open for business. We're already a bit nervous about how the things we've made will all go down in Sheringham, but lets just wait and see.

COTTONWOOD SHOP REFIT ~ 2nd Week ~ Grafting Requires Persistence

Week Two started with us a few days ahead of the planned schedule. Painting the walls with Farrow & Ball Pavilion Grey No242 began to give a better feel for the shop as a space. The interior paintwork has a fiddly detailed door and window structure, proving quite a job and a half. Endeavouring to cover its dark green paintwork required two coats of undercoat before glossing could even commence. We laid laminate flooring in and under the window. Lighting strips were installed for us. All bar one of our orders placed in Harrogate arrived and they all look as good as we remembered. I made a cover to hide some rather ugly meters which is now referred to as 'The Monolith'. Its been hard graft after hard graft, with us sleep deprived but indominatable. We finished the week with a day of clearing up and cleaning as next week the shop fittings start arriving. Woo woo!

Blue masking removed from windows

Stage One

Stage Two

Stage Three

The Monolith

COTTONWOOD SHOP REFIT - 1st Week ~ The Removal of Ghastly Things

The refit of our new shop in The Courtyard, Sheringham is progressing well. We are ahead of our planned timescale. We started painting walls at the end of last week before the May Bank Holiday. After removing dozens of raw plugs, filling in the holes and removing a ghastly strip of wallpaper, we have spent ages getting the walls to be an even tone of white. Plus acquiring neck ache.

Colour swatch for new wall colour