Saturday, August 05, 2006


I'm at work in the Crematorium waiting for a few people to arrive before I go off and scatter some ashes for a family. This work as a Chapel attendant was fine for a while, but now after four and a half months I'm realising that it doesn't quite meet my needs for interaction with people. Also,I am quite a lively playful individual, and as you can guess there isn't much call for that in my work. Not from the bereaved, and definitely not from the deceased. I work pretty much on my own so I'm getting lonely and bored a great deal of the time.

Working here has made me realise my perspective on death is buddhist. I'm not particularly attached to the physical body as being the person. So what is left after the cremation likewise is not the person either. Whilst I sympathise with the bereaved, and often feel their grief quite strongly, I find how people understand or comprehend death in 21st century baffling. A mixture of sentiment and superstition pervades much of it. But also some half remembered Christian Victorian Traditions linger on, even amongst the agnostic. I get a sense though that the last generation of really devout practicing Christians is passing. In the next ten to twenty years funeral traditions might have changed out of all recognition. There are early signs.

So, I'm planning to move on once I've got another job. I'm hoping to find a job soon in retail, which is where I have most experience. Once my financial situation has stabilised i'm currently investigating whether to do a Part-Time TEFL Course or begin training as a Counsellor. It is all a bit dependant on my finding a job soon. Most courses will be starting in Sept/Oct. without the confidence of a full time job I can't really go ahead with my plans. This might mean I have to wait another year. That might be better if it means I get a chance to sort out my finances, before plunging into more expense. Training is expensive.

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