Saturday, December 01, 2012

DIARY 159 ~ Tidying Up Before A Change

I get into a mode sometimes, when I'm gearing myself up for a change, or I'm in the process of making changes, of tidying up loose ends. One of the loose ends I've found myself doing in recent weeks is completing unfinished essays. You may well have noticed that I've recently posted a lot of short Dharma articles and essays on this blog. That's a consequence of my mental clearing up. Though all this writing is also available to read on my website for my Dharma writing ( Plum Blossoms ) I've come to the conclusion they might just as well be here too. So enjoy the feast!

A few days ago, during a  Reporting In session in my community, I said it felt like something in my life was about to come to an end, without really knowing at the time what I meant by that. I've talked it through a bit with Jnanasalin and another close friend and there were a number of likely candidates. It's settling now on an imperative to devote more time to creativity, I need to give it a more concerted and intense focus if anything is ever to come of it. I've spent far too many adult years putting art on hold, sidelining, dabbling, but never fully immersing myself in it. Always there's been some justifiable reason for downgrading or delaying things. Well, I don't think I can do that for much longer. Recently my levels of personal frustration have risen, an all pervasive lack of interest in anything is stretching its tentacles to strangle the life out of life, plus the ever present threat of teetering into depression. These all indicate things cannot continue as they are. I have to make a substantial change, after the tidying up has ceased.

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