DIARY 136 - Saying 'No' More Often

I've started swimming regularly since January swept in. Only once a week as yet, but I'm planning to up it to twice a week by the end of this month. This has generally been helping my back and Osteo-arthritis. It can make my joints ache more the day after, but the rest of the week is generally characterised by less joint pain and stiffness. So far so good.

This week I've had an underlying feeling of irritation, quite what about

remained spectacularly unspecific. I can take a guess at what I think is the right ball park. I believe it comes down to time on the Show of Hands project getting squeezed by other commitments I've made. Its another of my intentions for this year to give more consideration to what I agree to being involved in, to say 'No' more often. Until this current project is finished I can't really begin in earnest with newer projects such as :improvements to the Stupa Area; gathering a group together to organise and pool ideas for this years Windhorse Wesak.

My parents gave me a cheque for Christmas, quite a substantial one, which surprised me. It's some sort ofhanding on money so the tax man can't get his mittens on it. Anyway, this has prompted me to set up a savings Cash ISA and make a Standing Order to set aside a regular amount per month. Being able to save money is something that's very new for me. Most of my life I've just got by on whatever I have, and making it last till the end of the month. Saving obviously will require me to reduce my weekly spending a bit, which is probably no bad thing. I'll have to learn to say 'No' more often.

However, Jnanasalin and I are planning a long weekend away in Oxford at the end of the month, which I'm saving for, and looking forward to. I went there last year with Saddharaja, but we barely scratched the surface of what there is to see. I think there will be as much focus on good food as good places to visit. Usually we are quite lucky with weather on our early breaks, so fingers crossed it stays true to form.

I'm listening to Patti Smith's seminal album Horses, Birdland is playing in the background as I write. I'm reacquainting myself with how radical, earthy and really really out there she actually is. I've also bought her book Just Kids about her love for and creative relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I'm barely a third of the way through, but it is colourfully evocative re-telling and extremely well written, as you'd expect from a poet.

One down side of my Osteo-arthritis is I'm experiencing periods of waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. My major joints becoming so tender they say 'No' to slumber. I end up tossing and turning fitfully for my remaining hours in bed. When Jnansalin is away, as he is at the moment, I tend to put the light on , or get up. Today I was up drinking coffee and having breakfast at 3.30am, watched a couple of Time Team episodes consecutively and found some great videos of my new fave rave singer Adele, of whom there will no doubt be more later. Sometimes one can find simple compensations for everything.