FEATURE 70 - Test Dept - Total State Machine & Bang On It

Ah! in the bygone days of the eighties, when 'Industrial' ruled the musical fringes of a new world. The natives were getting ready to revolt over the Poll Tax. Test Dept were cutting and edgy then, stripped to the waste as if imitating the hard physical toil of an industrial steelworker. Their early releases,such as 'Total State Machine' from 1984 were terrifying, consisting of metal sheets being whacked by metal pipes, grossly over amplified. The resulting sound possessed all the impressive theatrical grandeur and sweaty magnificence of a Marxist state sponsored event. Though it bore tinges of homo-eroticism, it remains a predominantly masculine music, similar to Heavy Metal. I would guess female fans would be rare. It was never for the faint hearted, those with insipid or overly refined musical tastes, or anyone whose humanity had been completely drained of semen or blood.



Here by the mid-nineties they've embraced the then prevalent dance culture, its a more accessible sound, though still with the metal clashing and bashing. 'Music is a weapon of the Truth' someone intones portentously over the opening of 'Bang on it'. Though they were often too overtly political for my tastes, we need such passionate and committed people now. Where are they when you need them? Who will awaken them from sleep? They're probably drinking real ale down the pub, nursing their beer guts and grudges about the continuing parlous state of socialism.

FEATURE 69 - The Sensational Alex Harvey Band - Faith Healer

I remember I first heard SAHB Faithhealer emerging menacingly from the radio. I was simply just so blown away by the atmosphere of it, I rushed out and bought the vinyl album 'Next' with its striking black and silver stripped artwork. I think I had to take it back a few times because the pressing I bought skipped and jumped through out this track, eventually, years later I bought a tape version. Now I don't even have to buy it again, I can just listen to it to my hearts content on Spotify. The wonders and benefits of the advancing technology.

DIARY 135 - Sitting On The Bluest Of Edges

A deep existential melancholy fell upon me early in this New Year, like a dense fog it shrouded and wove itself into the bedrock of everything I encountered. Like the weather, it did blow over, retreating over the horizon, out of sight and of mind. Covered over once more with the cheery disposition that I habitually present to the world. Yet everything that arises and falls does so in response to all the internal and external conditioning phenomena fluctuating and changing. So this view I have of an immutable me, however much I might reify it, is subject to the same subtle adjustments, shifting transitions, whether slow or rapid in time. Moods change, but each mood change itself taints and colours my next experience. It changes because my response to responses changes, and so it goes - like dominoes.

So I had this existential weariness compiled from a wide range of influences and responses. Initially it seemed triggered on Boxing Day by sitting through a film I was not remotely interested in. To be further compounded by two days of unremitting boredom manning Reception at work. After the never ceasing run of activity in the run up to Christmas, I was looking forward to that relentless sequence of planning and buying, to stop. But that was when the mood slapped me in the face. It showed me exactly how tired I was, physically, mentally and spiritually. Nothing seemed worth lighting a candle for any more, let alone putting further effort into. Why indeed should I bother?

My back had been troubled since the end of November. I spend most days, these days, trying to manage or minimise the conditions that cause the arising of joint pain. The Osteo-arthritis in my hands continues at a pace. Every joint from my wrist and up the thumb having become tender and sharply painful three months ago, and remained so. When I was younger I'd help my Grandma open jam jars because her Osteo meant she no longer could. At its worst this is becoming my situation too. Humbled by no longer being able to carry heavy objects in one hand alone. I'm also getting the feeling the Osteo is beginning to set up shop in my elbows too. This tenderness in the joints means my sleep is regularly restless so I regularly awaken tired, stiff and aching.

When all these conspire to be at there worst simultaneously, I can feel so weary. I have in the past relished putting my energy into things. But now, anything I do of a physical nature has a painful consequence either instantly or the next day, and sometimes can linger on for days, weeks, even months. The pain, aided and abetted by my response to it, has a draining effect on my energy. I am having to get used to becoming easily tired, adapting my work rate to assume a slower and more measured pace.

Unsurprisingly my daily meditation practise has collapsed. I haven't the energy or resolve to discipline myself on two fronts, just getting my body up and ready for work is enough. If I forced myself to meditate any remaining desire to practise the spiritual life would be swallowed up in corrosive resentment. Reluctantly, I've had to let go of any expectation that I can, or should, meditate regularly. On retreat, with no other drains on energy, then I can meditate. Another conditioning factor is that for many years my meditation hasn't exactly been sparkling with life, it's become rather innocuous. The motivation to arise early for yet another grapple with a lifeless squib, is just not there any more. Should conditions change then this situation might change, though ironically its my own physical conditions I don't have complete control over.

This means the major arena for my spiritual practise is now firmly in everyday life. Specifically two areas; how I respond and deal with the inevitability of decreasing energy and increasing physical limitations; and the creativity I can bring to my work day to day. One strongly affects the other ,so inextricable linked are they. This incipient dwindling of my physical capacities is the first substantial whiff of my body ageing and ultimately its impermanence. Arising from this swamp is the sour hearted beast of unsatisfactoriness, blowing hot and cold on my sense of who I am,the foundations of how I like to be, in myself, and in the world. Oh bugger!

DIARY 134 - And A Merry Christmas Was Had By All

With three folk down and out, the remaining four of us in Abbey House No 1 Community, still managed to lay out a good festive spread. Dressing up the table and ourselves. It was quite an occasion and fun too!

THE MENU :-

Starters - Garlic Mushrooms with lemon tarragon mayonaise & green salad

Main Course -Homemade Nut Roast, all the festive vegetables, Quorn Roast, Yorkshire Puds, Veggie Sausages wrapped in fake bacon, freshly made gravy.

Dessert - Homemade Christmas Pudding with brandy sauce.

Drinks - Grape Schloer or water.

After a brief break to wash up, we prepared a table of nibbles for a few friends who were coming round after 3pm. The fire was lit, and we watched White Christmas, tucking into cheese and biscuits, homemade Christmas Cake & Mince Pies etc etc, until we were all thoroughly stuffed.

WORK IN PROGRESS - Show of Hands - Stage 5+6

I had to abandon the December 18th deadline because of severe back pain exacerbated by the build up of stress as other projects/commitments increasingly demanding my attention. So, after nearly a months enforced break ( bending over a large canvas laid out across a floor did me no favours ) I tentatively renewed work on the Show Of Hands painting. I'm attemping to pace myself, but back strain seems to occur retrospectively hours after I've already done too much, making it hard to monitor in the moment.

I've stopped working on it at home. It needs to be laid out permanently flat from now on. All that rolling up overnight didn't help the 'flaky paint syndrome'. The original PVA I used to stabilise this, was just some old stuff I had lying around, the fresh stuff I bought recently, turned out to be washable. As soon as I put acrylic paint on it a chemical reaction that presumably makes it washable produces a crackling effect in the paint surface. Who knows I might be able to consciously use this effect in the future, but in this project its a bit of a pain. It disappears as soon as I apply a second coat, ( more work ! ) some colours are only thin washes, not solid colour, so a second coat would make them too dark. You can't really see the crackling from a distance, its one of those accidental mistakes I'm just having to learn to live with.

As far as the collecting of hand out lines goes I'm now down to the last few hands. I know who's missing and I'll no doubt get these four over the next few weeks. If not I'll just have to get more creative. I've already had some fun with it, creating squares for the Buddha's hand and for BooBoo - Sundara's dog.

This week I re-painted the border a darker green/grey colour which brought the colours of the hand squares much further forward. The end

effect I'm working for will have a subtle depth effect going on between alternate squares. The new border colour also gives it a more even finish. I've been battling for weeks with little bits of the old terracotta border flaking off and sticking to areas I've freshly painted. Through this process I've discovered that to stabilise the canvas surface I should've not only primed it with waterproof PVA, but slapped layers of white emulsion on it. This would also have produced a smoother painting surface. Too late now of course. This painting has produced lots of such difficulties and learning curves.

I'd estimate I'm about two thirds of the way through. I can see what the future stages of work will be to take me towards the finishing line. If next week is quiet in the warehouse I could make substantial progress. Keeping a weather eye on my back as I go, of course.

FEATURE 68 - These New Puritans

Not that sure about these guys, sometimes their vision and ambition just tips over into a tight arsed pompous pretension. But this track We Want War has such a grand magnificence to its sweep I can't help but find it addictive. Their chosen palette ranges across a broad musical spectrum from Holger Hiller and early Test Department on the arty left wing to Rammstein and Laibach on the slightly uncomfortable echoes of fascism right wing. This video is a suitably enigmatic performance that places itself left of centre.

TOP TUNES OF 2010

HARD TO PICK JUST ONE SONG FROM 'THE SUBURBS' BUT THIS ONE WILL DO



ONE HELL OF A STRONG SONG SUNG WITH GREAT POIGNANCY



FEET TAPPING EXHILARATION - SHAME THE REST OF THE ALBUM DIDN'T QUITE MATCH IT



MUCH UNDERRATED SONG - THIS ORIGINAL VIDEO IS CRACKING - IT'S THE ALIEN DANCER THAT MAKES IT !



A STUNNING TUNE BEAUTIFULLY SUNG - I'M STILL CAPTIVATED BY THIS WOMAN'S VOICE



MOODY MAGNIFICENCE FROM THE SWEDISH TREE SHAMAN



I CHALLENGE ANYONE NOT TO TAP YOUR FEET OR GET UP AND DANCE WHEN THIS IS ON



ADDICTIVE SONG PERFORMED WITH A LIFE AFFIRMING ZEAL, WHICH REMAINS TOUCHING



CLASSIC GAGA SONG GRAFTED ONTO THIS HOMAGE TO TARANTINO - IT COULD ONLY BE DOWN HILL FROM HERE ON - AND IT WAS



WINNING THIS YEARS MUSICAL MINIMALISM AWARD



PLUS AN OLD ONE I'M STILL FOND OF FROM THE FIRST COCTEAU TWINS ALBUM - FILLED WITH SHIMMERS OF MAGIC AND DARK FOREBODING

FEATURE 67 - The Late Great Captain Beefheart

FEATURE 66 - Jeremy Hunt rhymes with.....

Somewhat disbelieving that I heard what I thought I'd heard on the Today programme. But yes, the venerable Naughtie did indeed accidentally exchange the C from Culture Secretary with the H of Hunt. Laugh, I nearly wet my crotch with spilt coffee.

FEATURE 65 - Kraftwerk - Autobahn

Seriously surreal - this is the original animated film created for Autobahn by two British animators- quite odd in a 'what are they trying to say with this' sort of way, and probably very much of its time too perhaps, well its just been given it to the BFI Archive.

FEATURE 64 - Miranda

Oh great great joy, now Miranda is back on the BEEB. The first series was such an innocent pleasure, cheesy in a good way, old fashioned whilst being ever so knowing, all those pratfalls, slapstick, farce and confessionals to the audience, not to mention the winks! You think - I'm too old to be laughing at this sort of stuff - just before you splutter half chewed mini Cheddar's onto your carpet at the 'nude fondue' line. It's also good to laugh because it's genuinely witty, not rude, unpleasant, or littered with so called edgy cringe inducing humour (i.e more expletives than adjectives ) She's pure unadulterated genius - Hurrah for Monday nights!!

WORK IN PROGRESS - Show of Hands - Stage 4

After a whole weekends work

its moved on considerable, the final form its going to have is almost fixed now. Still a lot of 'colouring in' to be done between now and the 18th December when it ideally should be finished.

WORK IN PROGRESS - Show of Hands - Stage 3

Well,things progress slowly but surely. But it is pretty clear to me now what the real size and scale of this project is, its huge. A lot of intense work will have to take place if it's to be finished by the 17th Dec. Still not certain I will be able to do it. This anxiety has made me bring it home with me, to work on it over the weekend, hopefully to push it on more significantly.

Because painting time during the week is precious, I've not been able to complete collecting hand outlines this week. I do however have the majority, 80 out of a possible 107ish. Only 27 more to go! Though using the recycled packaging for the canvas was a good idea, its not proving that stable a surface. It takes the paint but only as a skin that tends to flake off in places where the textile is creased or uneven. I've base coated it in polyurethane varnish, followed by PVA Glue, the latter usually fixes most things, but not 100% here. Too late, I've realised I should have fully coated the canvas with PVA first, before applying the primer. But that said it is manageable. It means every time I move it some surface will come off that I'll have to re-paint later. So moving has to be kept to a minimum. In the meantime I'll just keep slapping on layers of PVA until it holds.

The 'colouring in' is going well, and looks good too. Because I'm painting something five and a half by one and a half metres, I went for the cheapest student range of acrylics I could afford. In terms of time this has probable not been a cost effective choice. My colourways were worked out in artists quality acrylic, which covered well,and gave good density in one coat, whereas the student quality takes a couple of coats to cover and achieve a moderate density. I've doubled my workload by making this choice. However, my outlay on paint would have more than doubled otherwise.

Considering I've never painted something of quite this size before, I actually think I'm doing really well.

CD REVIEW - Brian Eno/Small Craft On A Milky Sea

It's quite a while since I've been excited by the stuff that Eno's released over recent decades. Either he's released more ambience into the world than it either needs, cares for, or can take, or its the well modulated, smooth, sonically controlled songs of Another Day On Earth. Though these have been pleasant additions to the lexicon, they elict no cigars for innovation. Only in his collaborative work, has there ever been some sense of exploration. But this has always been so, from Roxy through Talking Heads, Bowie and U2 on. Working with other peoples ideas in conjunction with his own appears to loosens the creative reins of control, where something random and often magically unexpected happens.

His work with Fripp having long ago reached an impasse, it was only on Drawn from Life with Peter Schwalm, (2001) that we last saw Eno really make a concerted attempt at breaking out of his neat oblique process. It surprises me that this process, allegedly so experimental and changeable, can end up producing a body of recent work so uniformly consistent in character. Perhaps he has indeed become defined, if not confined, within his own working process and created his own musical category - Enoesque

Small Craft on a Milky Sea, however, does frequently gouge new grooves into his undoubtedly broad range of recordings. Maybe this comes from the 'improvisatory' nature of the source material. On 'Horse','2 Forms of Anger,Flint March' 'Paleosonic' and 'Dust Shuffle' we hear an Eno I thought had almost become extinct, one with sharp, aggressive, harsh, even discordant edges. Music one might even cut oneself on, or find difficult listening. To someone brought up on 'No Pussyfooting' oh what great joy it is to hear these tracks!

Yes, there are still plenty of the recumbent, languid landscapes, as on 'Emerald and Lime' and the rather beautiful title track 'Small Craft on a Milky Sea, but these are rather contained, refined examples of the form he created. The album moves through a range of film like moods, suggestive of reflection, apprehension, transcendence, anger or fearfulness, in equal measure. Just when you've relaxed into a dreamy imaginary sunset, there comes an exultant storm of energy. Producing one of his most satisfying albums for quite some time.