The propelling wind that brought and settled us into Sheringham, has now passed or blown itself out. There are signs of fresh winds gaining in strength but where that weather vane will finally end up pointing us, is anyone's guess . After our six month watershed, Jnanasalin and I seem more able to think about what's next for Cottonwood Workshop? We still intend to source materials from second hand or be hand made by us Imaginatively we've revived an idea for a range inspired by a New England aesthetic, all muted whites, subtle greys and sludgy blues.
We spent a really lovely autumn day out in Norwich a few weeks ago. It was our first visit in four months, and one of the places we just happened to walk into was an interior decor shop. Finding ourselves gazing at a wall full of Farrow & Ball paint swatches, we quickly sifted out three colours ~ Pointing, an off white, Pavilion Grey, a light warm grey, and Siffkey Blue, a soft but darkish blue. As Stiffkey is on the North Norfolk coast, this felt a bit like 'a fortuitous sign.' So with tester pots in hand I've begun painting a small crate, which eventually will have a padded lid and linen fabric lining. Pictures next month, maybe!
I recently completed refurbishing a chest of drawers that feels as though I've been working on it for almost a millennia. After half a year of painting and vanishing furniture for the house, I am, unsurprisingly, more than ready to take a break.
Another thing that has shifted, is that I was called to interview recently and I've started a new job. Having applied for other types of work with no joy. I re-focused my efforts on finding cleaning work that doesn't fluctuate according to season, has regular set hours and income. I'm cleaning communal areas in two Sheringham residential homes that are half way houses for people with mental health problems. So far the job is going OK, I'm still settling in and finding out how best to pace the work and myself.
My last few weeks of housekeeping work at The Two Lifeboats were easier to manage physically. Its now off season, so the really manic period is over, thank goodness. October half-term was the very last hurrah for local tourism in Sheringham until Spring 2018. Chip shops and ice cream parlours, have already laid off workers, and closed until March. In my last week, I worked five days in a row, so my fellow housekeeper could have a break after a year with no holiday leave. I have been attempting to leave The Two Lifeboats as well as I can.
I've spent decades living and working around Buddhists, some of whom can be self-preoccupied in quite a unique way, but you could broach most issues you might have with them. In work outside of a Buddhist context, you have to be much more actively forgiving of people's dodgy views, faulty behaviour, crude speech and inability to think or act beyond their own feelings. Without any supportive context or other way to process things, letting off steam by going on and on about what they believe someone has or hasn't done, or getting drunk every day, all become a way of coping or diffusing tension. The degree to which you can actively challenge people is limited. I've just got better at distracting them, often by using humour to lighten the mood.
People wherever I work notice I don't tend to behave in quite the way they do. Not easily ruffled, quietly getting on with the task, don't complain much, and remaining calm, outwardly at least, under pressure. Eventually they put two and two together and rumble I'm a Buddhist. I only tell them more about this should they ask. I may occasionally sneak Buddhism in under the radar, disguised in ordinary simple language and from the perspective of personal experience. Nonetheless, there are times when I do feel the absence of close Buddhist friends,.of having easier, more substantial conversations that don't just skim superficially across the surface of what is often a rolling boil underneath.
After a Summer of working frenetically for Two Lifeboats I find my physical stamina is depleted, and I'm probably a tad run down. Neither Jnanasalin nor I have had a substantial break since our holiday in the Lake District last October. As things stand getting a few days off to visit family before Christmas might be all either of us can manage before 2018 arrives. This has its consequences for both of us, in that we both can feel overstretched when additional demands emerge. We've had a few car related crises this month, provoking stress-filled anxiety as the companion to the egregious expense. Testing how attached we've already become to things working well at the turn of an ignition key.
Jnanasalin's Father has become quite seriously ill, his liver is teetering on the edge of packing in after years of excessive, and anger inducing, alcohol consumption, It could be days, weeks, months or longer, but the future prognosis appears not to be good. My own Father is 91, and had been relatively alert and coherent for a man of his age. That was until l last week when he had a heart attack, fell on the floor breaking his leg near the hip. He is now in hospital. and we went up last weekend to see him. They intend to operate on the breakage today as they can't leave it any longer. They've made us aware that such a major operation may be too much for him in his current state. We await further news.
Over the last few months you may have noticed the number of articles I post on this blog has increased. Writing I find challenging, because what I'm trying to express tends to form itself during the process of composition. A lot of the time this takes quite a messy convoluted route to a sort of clarity, entailing a lot of editing and re-writing. Interesting ideas often emerging unexpectedly out of making simple changes to grammar or sentence construction. I've just completed the final part of a four part series about 'everyday beauty' that I've found really engaging to get to grips with. Without writing my thinking and views tends to exist in a cloud of unknowing, like a slightly foggy dawn with drizzle.
The other day I had the lyrics from a Sparks song going through my head all day. The person in the song is a stunt double on the film Gone With The Wind, who appears not to know how what he's doing contributes to the story line. One line that turned into a bit of an 'ear-worm' goes:~
'Gone with the wind, there's a lot to be said for it, but I don't know just what, they don't tell my type the plot'.
It doesn't take much intuition to guess what this is about. We all try to operate as if we are in full control of our life's direction, we know the plot and how things are supposed to unfold. In fact we know very little. We can always take action, though whether this makes things change to match our desired outcome can be unpredictable. It often comes down to circumstances emerging that make apparent where progress can be made.
Hard as it is, present conditions do not make clear what Jnanasalin and I's future direction looks like. We'll have to cultivate patience a little while longer. What we hope for may of course never arrive, or do so in an unexpected way, offering us something we hadn't envisaged. Perhaps forcing us to rethink what exactly it is we want to start up in North Norfolk. We continue travelling hopeful that in the end we will be doing something. This is a period that asks us to surrender ourselves to the unfolding of time.
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I've spent decades living and working around Buddhists, some of whom can be self-preoccupied in quite a unique way, but you could broach most issues you might have with them. In work outside of a Buddhist context, you have to be much more actively forgiving of people's dodgy views, faulty behaviour, crude speech and inability to think or act beyond their own feelings. Without any supportive context or other way to process things, letting off steam by going on and on about what they believe someone has or hasn't done, or getting drunk every day, all become a way of coping or diffusing tension. The degree to which you can actively challenge people is limited. I've just got better at distracting them, often by using humour to lighten the mood.
After a Summer of working frenetically for Two Lifeboats I find my physical stamina is depleted, and I'm probably a tad run down. Neither Jnanasalin nor I have had a substantial break since our holiday in the Lake District last October. As things stand getting a few days off to visit family before Christmas might be all either of us can manage before 2018 arrives. This has its consequences for both of us, in that we both can feel overstretched when additional demands emerge. We've had a few car related crises this month, provoking stress-filled anxiety as the companion to the egregious expense. Testing how attached we've already become to things working well at the turn of an ignition key.
Jnanasalin's Father has become quite seriously ill, his liver is teetering on the edge of packing in after years of excessive, and anger inducing, alcohol consumption, It could be days, weeks, months or longer, but the future prognosis appears not to be good. My own Father is 91, and had been relatively alert and coherent for a man of his age. That was until l last week when he had a heart attack, fell on the floor breaking his leg near the hip. He is now in hospital. and we went up last weekend to see him. They intend to operate on the breakage today as they can't leave it any longer. They've made us aware that such a major operation may be too much for him in his current state. We await further news.
The other day I had the lyrics from a Sparks song going through my head all day. The person in the song is a stunt double on the film Gone With The Wind, who appears not to know how what he's doing contributes to the story line. One line that turned into a bit of an 'ear-worm' goes:~
'Gone with the wind, there's a lot to be said for it, but I don't know just what, they don't tell my type the plot'.
It doesn't take much intuition to guess what this is about. We all try to operate as if we are in full control of our life's direction, we know the plot and how things are supposed to unfold. In fact we know very little. We can always take action, though whether this makes things change to match our desired outcome can be unpredictable. It often comes down to circumstances emerging that make apparent where progress can be made.
Hard as it is, present conditions do not make clear what Jnanasalin and I's future direction looks like. We'll have to cultivate patience a little while longer. What we hope for may of course never arrive, or do so in an unexpected way, offering us something we hadn't envisaged. Perhaps forcing us to rethink what exactly it is we want to start up in North Norfolk. We continue travelling hopeful that in the end we will be doing something. This is a period that asks us to surrender ourselves to the unfolding of time.
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