This one is a longish edited entry from a recent gratitude journal. This came out in one extemporaneous flow.
" You know I would say today I'm feeling gratitude for my life and experiences. Looking back at the whole cornucopia of it. Its full of my interests, doubts, successes and mistakes, the opportunities taken and missed. It's all a bit of an exotic melange. One I would not have missed for the world. I'm grateful for it all.
Any human life, according to Buddhism, is 'a precious opportunity'** And this morning I'm feeling the fragile delicate nature of that opportunity. The only coda I could put at the end of that would be gratitude - for everyone I've ever met and had contact with - have loved and fallen in love with - have worked or crossed swords with - have exchanged ideas with - have worked creatively with - have appreciated, idolised and been a huge fan of - if only for five minutes - the toys both childhood and adult I've enjoyed playing with - the hearts I've broken - the hearts I've lifted - the one's I've let down and the one's I've made proud - the one's I've admired closely or from afar - the rush of my enthusiasms - the chasing of wild dreams - the despair of the last bus home after a hopeless evening - the tender ending of an affair - all the learning and the seeking for knowledge - and through it all a sense for the history of it all - of past lives lived - the complex inheritance of our humanity - these can only instill a sense of gratitude.
This morning I am sensitive and emotional, to the enormity of what I've written this floods me with feelings of love for it all, and not wanting to let go of one moment of it. To hold life to my chest tightly like a bunch of bright fragrant flowers. Simultaneously knowing that flowers fade and my memories die with me. And though I do not fully understand why, that forgetting, that fading away is a good thing. Nothing is permanent in this life, it is changeable and fickle, yet that is what makes it also unpredictable and offers up surprises, happiness and joy, in unequal measures. That it's something to feel grateful for, that nothing lingers for long, whether good or bad. Whatever I do, I should never become indifferent to it. Never stop trying to be better at riding the roller coaster."
** Human life is 'a precious opportunity' because through it you can wake up, be enlightened to what the 13th century Zen monk Dogen called 'the dream within a dream'.
" You know I would say today I'm feeling gratitude for my life and experiences. Looking back at the whole cornucopia of it. Its full of my interests, doubts, successes and mistakes, the opportunities taken and missed. It's all a bit of an exotic melange. One I would not have missed for the world. I'm grateful for it all.
Any human life, according to Buddhism, is 'a precious opportunity'** And this morning I'm feeling the fragile delicate nature of that opportunity. The only coda I could put at the end of that would be gratitude - for everyone I've ever met and had contact with - have loved and fallen in love with - have worked or crossed swords with - have exchanged ideas with - have worked creatively with - have appreciated, idolised and been a huge fan of - if only for five minutes - the toys both childhood and adult I've enjoyed playing with - the hearts I've broken - the hearts I've lifted - the one's I've let down and the one's I've made proud - the one's I've admired closely or from afar - the rush of my enthusiasms - the chasing of wild dreams - the despair of the last bus home after a hopeless evening - the tender ending of an affair - all the learning and the seeking for knowledge - and through it all a sense for the history of it all - of past lives lived - the complex inheritance of our humanity - these can only instill a sense of gratitude.
This morning I am sensitive and emotional, to the enormity of what I've written this floods me with feelings of love for it all, and not wanting to let go of one moment of it. To hold life to my chest tightly like a bunch of bright fragrant flowers. Simultaneously knowing that flowers fade and my memories die with me. And though I do not fully understand why, that forgetting, that fading away is a good thing. Nothing is permanent in this life, it is changeable and fickle, yet that is what makes it also unpredictable and offers up surprises, happiness and joy, in unequal measures. That it's something to feel grateful for, that nothing lingers for long, whether good or bad. Whatever I do, I should never become indifferent to it. Never stop trying to be better at riding the roller coaster."
** Human life is 'a precious opportunity' because through it you can wake up, be enlightened to what the 13th century Zen monk Dogen called 'the dream within a dream'.
No comments:
Post a Comment