MY OWN WALKING - June Journal 2026

In the history of my spiritual practice, my resistance to doing it, and my response to my resistance to doing it, have frequently been an area for patience, practice and experiment. In the first flush of enthusiasm and excitement of Beginners Mind, one rarely encounters much resistance. Only as things settle down into the more hum drum regularity of daily practice, does resistance start to raise its head. Because in those early days the sense of practice opening up new vistas on yourself and reality sustains you. It creates a tangible sense of you making real progress. However, deceptive that might actually be.

In my experience, this freshness rarely lasts. And whilst one is always being encouraged to keep hold of the openness and curiosity that Beginners Mind relies upon. In reality, this is pretty tricky to impossible to self consciously maintain. When anything that was once new becomes familiar, it loses its ability to rejuvenate because of its bright shine tarnishing.

What in essence resistance is, is tedium. Boredom with the same routine. Boredom with not appearing to make any progress. Boredom can even be a fundamental disappointment with oneself. And what one chooses to do in response to boredom rearing its apathetic head, has significance. What do you do when you are bored? Are you able to actually do anything?

I'll tell you what I've done, for good or ill. I look for something new that interests and fascinates me. Not necessarily in the practice. It might be another new unknown subject to explore and be excited about. A fresh way of looking at a the familiar object of one's practice, or at oneself. Yet this search for the shock and fizz of the new and novel, I'd say is a major tendency in the Western approach to spiritual practice. It turns spiritual practice into an adjunct to consumerism. The latest novelty practice, to move on from the moment anything becomes unrewarding or remotely boring.

Another response I've had to resistance, is the strong application of self discipline. Now I'll say right here, that this is very different from willpower,. Willpower requires you to be already 'willing' to do this practice. Self discipline recognises that to an extent you are not willing to do this practice regularly every day, unless you coerce yourself into doing so. One way or another you'll get your bum on that cushion. You make a commitment and you stick to it, regardless of your resistance. Self discipline also has a tendency to carry with it a tone in its approach that may not be kind.

This overriding of resistance, has it uses. In extremis it can be useful. But, if used too frequently, it does lead to not even acknowledging the presence of resistance. I found this to be extremely detrimental to my enthusiasm for spiritual practice in the long run. I wasn't taking the whole of me into practice, I attempted exclusion of the truculent non cooperative side of myself. As you can imagine this did not go down well with my psycho-physical being.

It is good to make commitments. But it's also good to recognise when the level of things you are committing yourself to carrying out. has become overwhelming or too burdensome to be consistently executed. It's important not to see dropping some of these commitments as a personal failing. It's just you finding that one way of approaching practice may have run its course, and the need to rethink and review this has arrived. Simply ease off the acceleration pedal you are pressing down too much on.

There was also a time whenever I met resistance or boredom, I simply stopped practicing altogether. This might be for a few days, weeks, months, even years.  I allowed resistance to rule over me, and hence ruined the quality of my engagement. These days, I'm experimenting with a gentler, more receptive approach to resistance. I recognise that my practice has different levels it goes through, on waves of enthusiasm and troughs of fatigue. And when I'm enthusiastic I can take on all sorts of things, try out additional practices, add this or subtract that. And if resistance re-emerges, I'll start pairing away elements of this practice, Perhaps stripping it back to a really basic level for a while. Ready to pick it up again when the fire for it appears to be rekindled again. This means I don't stop doing a daily spiritual practice of some sort, I merely readjust the quantity and intensity of it. To accommodate the indicator that resistance is, without completely capitulating to it. Believe me, this is what real progress looks like.

There is always the question to be asked of yourself. Is resistance a sign that you really don't believe in the efficacy of the practices you are doing?  You have to acknowledge this could be a possibility. Doubt, however, I've found is a pretty reliable test for faith being present. Doubt is just your faith wobbling a bit. It emerges when that faith feels ignored, threadbare or hungry. I'd be more worried if I was indifferent. Have you recharged your faith lately, and what do you do when that is required? What things do you do to put yourself in touch with your faith?  Whenever I am bored or resistant, I have usually become alienated from what I hold faith in. Practice can often become a bit too much of an idea, over idealised, be ego or head driven. Then I need to put greater effort into those more nebulous mystically orientated areas that ground me, point me in the general direction of faith - Imaginative. Poetic, Aesthetic, Mythic, Ritualistic, Raw, Rustic and Elemental Nature. It's like gathering around a freshly lit raging fire at night, with a cuppa tea, and gazing into the primaeval flames and communing with its spirit.