Within the first few days it became obvious what Duncan's main talent and contribution would be. He proved to be fabulous on Reception, fielding calls, charming people, delivery men, smoothing the general operation of the office. Anything in the area of customer service that he took control of, suddenly started to spark with energy. Though he'd only ever worked in offices on a casual basis, Duncan was as surprised as everyone else was by how much he knew. He became quite rightly pleased with himself. He wasn't the complete loser after all. But then it was also plain to Duncan, that pretty much everyone else in the office, bar himself and the ever resourceful Gavin, were clueless and a complete waste of space. Simple effective competence had instantly made him look masterful.
And the office staff were not just all guys, but all gay guys. There was not one woman on the premises. How did they manage to pull that one off? The only woman he saw was the weekly visitation of Maureen from the Accounts Team in the Suffolk women's commune. Collecting paperwork, bringing paperwork, wages etc. Spending an hour with Gavin in his office, before going out to a cafe with him for a more informal social chat. Duncan could see it provided Gavin with an opportunity to offload all his frustrations into her more receptive ear? Always returning minus the frown on his forehead. Maureen, statuesque in loose flowing caftan like dresses, presented herself well, combined with an extremely composed, calming presence. Why was it, mused Duncan, that all the men in this 'movement' ( Gavin excepted) were naive and frankly inept, whereas all the women he'd seen so far; Avril; Maureen were just so intensely who they were, comfortable in their skin, admirably effective and had the look of being solidly dependable?
The real question was, where had all these gay guys, dressed in versions of the same style of cheap sports clothing, come from? As the weeks passed,why became clear. Retinal Hemorrhage had moved here from rather cramped and improvised circumstances in a large garage/warehouse in Finsbury Park. Bringing with it, its entirely gay male workforce. The garage business belonged to the gay men's commune set up with money from the UK Headquarters of the MAM (Material Arts Movement) The business originally evolved out of an idea a few former commune members had had. All of the twinks, the winsome young men who now drifted around the office or slackly slumped in their chairs so ineffectually, were the current batch of idealistic young recruits. For whom their livelihood provided a sort of spiritual cutting edge. Founded upon laziness, thought Duncan.
In this new enlarged business, there was an uneven mix between what could be couched' believers' from the commune, and 'employees'. Neither side understanding quite where the other was coming from. So there was an inherent friction. The 'believers' learnt their role on the job, and if they weren't that good at filing say, would be tried out on mail order, phones or dispatch. If they proved completely useless at anything they were never sacked, just hidden away somewhere where they could do the least damage. Perhaps a 'gofa' waiting on a request to go fetch something. But mostly they would be found constantly hoovering the office,or sweeping the floors of the print workshop in a derisory semi- depressed manner. The 'employees' were brought in because they already had the requisite practical skills, and were paid the going rate. The 'believers' paid on a 'needs' basis, were constantly short of money and wheedling for more.
The 'employees' consequently resented the 'believers' because they felt they were left to do all the real work. Which was true. The 'believers' could suddenly disappear only to be found either having a snooze in a cupboard somewhere, or be seen meditating, doing yoga or tai chi whilst supposed to be manning Reception, data entry or filing. With no one there to show them how office jobs should be done, out of sheer boredom they'd frequently start inventing a system all their own.
Overtime with many such unnecessary reinventions of the wheel, the office record keeping systems, for example, evolved into this twisted unmanageable beast of a thing. The original inventors long gone, no one understood anymore why things were done in this particular way. Any new arrival initially forced to carry on executing tasks in the same manner. Even if they knew this was a totally rubbish way of doing things. Once they'd been there a month or so, if they hadn't already left, they'd start making misguided 'improvements' of their own. Should an 'employee' or a 'believer' arrive with the necessary skills, such as with Duncan, then some semblance of an effective organisation might start to appear.
Duncan's arrival came then as a blessed relief for Gavin, who had been banging his head against this particular form of brick wall for two years. Finally he had someone who knew what he was doing, and was good at it. He could relax more, because he didn't have to diplomatically micro manage him, like he often had to with many of the 'believers'. Having moved to the Seven Dials premises, it was also possible to introduce the computer based office package he'd been hassling for. This was intended to kick start a revolution in how the business operated, which it did. A complete review of all systems, paper or digital, began. Duncan became a major part of this. As was to be expected, it threw all the other 'believers' into a hissy fit of insecurity and resistance. The old over complicated systems was, nonetheless, overturned, existing staff being retrained, or relocated to 'garden duty'.
What made this weird workforce dynamic worse was two fold. First, most of the 'employees' were taken on to work in the print room. They had skills in the mechanics of printing and were down in the cellar workshop. Whereas most of the 'believers' worked in the office up above them. An Us and Them culture rapidly developed around this physical demarcation.
Second, the 'believers' sexual orientation or gender bias, was anywhere along the spectrum from bisexual, to gay, to non binary, to trans. Whereas the 'employees' downstairs' were generally rock solid straight blokes and heterosexual as they come. They found 'the guys' upstairs either intrinsically threatening or truly baffling, sometimes both. In public, homophobic or transphobic language would be actively self censored. Only bursting to the surface when one of the 'poofters upstairs' had goofed up really really badly.
In the midst of all this, the seemingly still small point was Gavin, the General Manager. Yes, he was gay, but unlike the other 'believers' he had a wealth of experience in the job he was now doing. Though he tore his hair out when alone in his office. He had developed an effective way of bridging the culture gap with the guys in the workshop. Engaging in male banter and joking, flattering and charming them into liking him, and hence more willing to do what he requested of them. They were much more tolerant and appreciative of anyone who they found trustworthy and actually knew their job. His being gay didn't seem to matter one jot then. They couldn't bare an ineffectual man, who made there job harder. If they were also effeminate this simply rubbed salt in the wound. Competence, not prejudice, being the primary ruling distinction here.
Duncan lightheartedly referred to him as Saint Gavin to his face. Which he would smile wryly at. Gavin, when under pressure, sometimes assumed an impassive expression, which made him hard to read. Whether he was at all as interested in Duncan, as Duncan was in Gavin, had not yet been determined. Until one lunchtime Gavin asked Duncan if he'd like to come to the gay men's commune for dinner one evening. Dinner with Gavin and get a peek at what a men's commune was like. He couldn't wait. This Saturday? Yes please.
NEXT EPISODE - Duncan's Romancing ( Episode 7 / 12 )
will be posted Friday 21st October 2022
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