POEM - Reassembling Sleep

disquieted

at 2am, alerted to

sleeplessness and the perception

of being quite alone with it

tinged with a fear, that

never being able to curl up, ever again,

is a distinct possibility, such is this moment,

such is me, such a watery gaze I have

both lost in and founded upon the beat

that my heart hits, it feels louder,

more insistent here

as penetrating as a smoke alarm

as bodily resonant as

the alarmist emotions

explode into a galloping rhythm

wah u wah u wah, why

do I waver, between flooding

and no access to tear ducts

for love, for myself

for no one's love

do I despair more

because I cannot dream?

lying in bed, bodily still

yet quavering over the smallest passing

of one period of time

being alive, is where everything

turns into emptiness

none of which hurts

and I don't scream out

as the darkness hums

all around like a soft blanket

muffling against my breath

there is always the quiet drum rolls

and a tympany of rain

the stubble on my head

feeling brushed by the hand of static

or was it my Mother? whichever it is

I am drop dead tired

yet too alive and affiliated

at 2am, for any

reassembling of sleep.

written July 2020
Stephen Lumb