ARTICLE - That Bill and Frank Moment

Finally, after much badgering / encouragement from friends we recently began watching The Last of Us.  I viewed Episodes 1 & 2 somewhat nonplussed. I didn't quite get why this high budget twist on the 'zombies take over the world' theme, had garnered such rapturous praise. This was not breaking much new ground so far as I could see. Until I watched Episode 3 and that Bill and Frank moment. 

( Spoiler Alert - I am about to talk about the story line in detail )

Bill and Frank had previous mentions in conversations between Joel and Tess. Before sacrificing herself to the wheat germ infected mob at the end of Episode 2, Tess urges Joel to take Ellie to Bill and Frank's. They'll know what to do, where to go next. During Episode 3 we are taken quite a few years into the past to be given some back story.  A small town has been cleared of uninfected inhabitants. Bill, managing to hide himself away, remains, and then turns the now empty town into a one man fortress compound. One day Frank falls into one of Bill's covered pits, the one's meant to deter and keep folk out. But somehow Frank convinces Bill into allowing him not just to take a shower, but to cook him a meal, then to stay a while.  Frank seems to understand intuitively who and what Bill is, and how to soften that hard won defensive exterior. Before Frank, Bill's life had no meaning, he hated other people. It was easier to barricade his lonely life against intruders, unfortunately this also meant his life was loveless. Frank offers him love and Bill welcomes it. That love between them deepening over the subsequent decades together. This is all shown to us in a beautifully understated, tender and masculine manner.

Handled in this very ordinary matter of fact way, it is a gay relationship, but it could just as easily be a straight one. These are just two very matter of fact guys, not effeminate, nor exhibiting any of the usual 'gay tropes' or cliches film makers often succumb to when portraying gay men.  Frank and Bill are simply two very ordinary men who love each other. As he gets older Frank develops a debilitating condition that confines him to a wheel chair. Bill becomes his carer and does pretty much everything for him. One morning Bill awakens to find Frank has dragged himself up and is already sitting in his chair. He tells Bill that today will be his last day.  There was no cure for what he has, even before the wheat germ plague arrived. He wants Bill to help him put an end to his increasingly difficult life. 

And so the story line opens out from the specifics of how their love relationship came into being. Taking us into the more emotionally torn territory of assisted suicide. Set against more universal feelings surrounding the decline and death of a loved one. At this point I am already plunged deep into emotionally wrecked territory. This is everyone's unspoken fear in any relationship - who will die first? - which one of us will be left behind? - what if the only way to alleviate the person you love's suffering is to help them die, to actively take part in the loosing of them? Who would voluntarily chose to be the one left alone? But Frank has decided to answer those questions not just for himself, but for Bill too. But Bill does not want to be left behind. Frank gave him something to fight for, as well as against. Without him there is nothing, just a meaningless struggle.

So the story starts to touch on themes and feelings that are close to everyone. Yes, it was a TV moment in how a gay relationship can be presented. But through its humbleness and decision to make it so universal and ordinary, it became incredibly potent. This was simply two human beings who loved each other, taking control over the moment of their death, of their parting from each other. Most couples are torn apart by the moment of death, often preceded by a protracted illness or a decline. But the sudden unexpected eruption of mortality tends to take everyone by surprise. No one prepares for that, even though everyone knows it will happen someday.  Few could face it straight on in the way Bill and Frank do.

Bill doesn't want to return to the life he had before Frank arrived. And I don't think I would either. Even though I know it is a possibility, I am frightened by the idea of living without my Husband. The sense of the loneliness looms large. As the older of the two of us by a couple of the decades, it is more than likely to be me who dies first, but that is not a certainty.  I worry about things I'll have no control over. How my Husband will cope emotionally. Whenever I venture to this place in my imagination, to reach for the point of my death, I touch also on a deep up welling of sorrow. I'll be leaving not just my Husband, but life itself behind. Existentially this is not an easy place to inhabit, but to have the courage of Bill and Frank to take control and manage it? Maybe you'd have to reach that point in order to find out if you could. Euthanasia is of course not currently legal in the UK. But I guess in the world imagined for Bill and Frank, legality is no longer a concern, there is no law to be enforced anymore in this decimated future. They are free to choose to do what they think is for the best in that moment. If I was in their situation, what would I choose to do?

What a rare thing this was, a terrific piece of emotionally impactful, meaningful TV.